chris-littlechild - December 24, 2014
Don't worry. There's only another freaking week of everything having a ‘Christmas special' to go. After that, everyone reverts to trying to hawk us their shit during the January sales.
But let's pretend we aren't Grinchtastic misers for a moment, and reminisce about one of the greatest Christmas movies ever made: Home Alone. Sure, it lacks the yippie-kai-yay-ing mothereffers of Die Hard, but this is still great stuff right here.
It's relatable, that's why. Your family effs off to Paris without you for the holidays, and Joe Pesci tries to burgle your house while falling gonads-first into all kinds of ridiculous booby traps... we've all been there.
These were the days before Macaulay Culkin's drug problems and general balls-out madness. It was a happier, simpler time, free of angry ex-wives and marijuana possession. These childhood memories of holiday funtimes are probably why Home Alone still has that appeal. There must be a reason it was so huge, and was game-ified on every damn console in the cosmos.
So, feast your eyes on Home Alone for SNES. This title arrived in December 1991, a year after the movie. Around about that time, it also hit the PC, Game Boy, Amiga and all kinds of other fancy gaming dookickeys, but the Super Nintendo it is. Mostly because this one has a huge effing rat boss for no reason at all.
Giant rodents wanting to trample your face into spam aside, it's all fairly faithful to the plot of the movie. The Wet Bandits are prowling about the house, and you have to keep them at bay with ridiculous traps that Wile E. Coyote would be proud of.
It all starts with a quick piss-poor cutscene of the bandits arriving at the McCallisters' home, then we're straight into the gameplay. The whole thing has a real Haunting Featuring Polterguy vibe about it (for the three people in the world who've ever played that). It's cutesy,toontastic and slapstick-amundo.
Within the first couple minutes, you've wanged Harry in the face with a bowling ball, sprayed him repeatedly in the groin with a water pistol and even given him a retro trip on a banana skin. Your goal is to dump the family's valuables down the chute in the hall, which will deposit them in the safe in the cellar.
These items are hidden about the rooms, and will require a little platformer-y jumping action to find. Betwixt the rooms you go, spraying the approaching bad dudes along the way. Once you've collected everything, it's down to the cellar with you, for the most hilariously shit-tastic boss battle you ever saw.
Happy holidays, lame-ass rat thing!