W Magazine

Nicola Peltz and Gigi Hadid Hold Hands Because That’s Just What Hotties Do at Luncheons

Oh, I do so love when the hotties get together for a summer luncheon. Even in the middle of winter. Lovely petite hottie celebrities in white and summer dresses for the W Magazine something something party in Beverly Hills. Tis the season for magazine sponsored parties and celebrities winning all kinds of awards just like you and I do regularly for our jobs. Hasn’t your boss handed you a shiny gold-plated trophy recently? Okay, my last one was AYSO fifth grade as well. Still, if the accolades bring out the girls like the wildly alluring Nicola Peltz, Gigi Hadid, Jaime King, and Sarah Hyland who didn’t remove her coat due to the weather, but which gave us a chance to really use our imagination noodles as to what lay beneath. Noodle isn’t a euphemism for brain, I actually have a noodle I keep here in my office to foster imagination.

I don’t know exactly how I get these girls to show up to my own luncheons. I keep cutting the crust off the cucumber sandwiches but nobody shows so I end up feeding them to my dog, Mr. Fetishworth, who has a look in his eye as if he’s going to consume me in my sleep. The trick might be owning a magazine, a magazine for women specifically. I wonder if Jugs Women is already trademarked. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: Splash

Kirsten Dunst Flashes Her Summer Pleasures for W

We don’t see much of Kirsten Dunst these days. I mean, outside of her annual risque indie film roles which are always a treat, the hippy chick keeps a rather low profile, denying us some of her big and bold bosomy treats we’ve come to lust through the years. Well, now Kirsten is showing off some of her faptastically full funbags in W magazine, my go to lady bible for all things fashionable and nice smelling on the women folk. I don’t so much subscribe as I do borrow from the local hair salon, especially issues called ‘Summer Pleasures’ that feature Kirsten’s most chesty of puppies.

Kirsten Dunst may not be showing off for the guys, but I’ll take her summer pleasures just the same. Ah, to go boating, nay, motorboating in her soft and fluffy depths. That would be a summer to remember. Enjoy.

Amanda Seyfried Is a Trashy Bikini Cowgirl (Yeah, I Know, Awesome)

There are many ways I’d love to see Nordic princess Amanda Seyfried, and while nekkid in my bed calling me hither remains a firm number one on my list, this view of Amanda all tarted up and in a bikini and cowgirl boots is pretty damn nice as well. I’m not sure who at W magazine got the idea to put Amanda into such a cosplay pose, but kudos to you style mavens who are mostly trying to please your female readership. We men need a little something something from time to time, though we don’t ultimately purchase your elixirs and tonics.

Amanda Seyfried is one of those elusive minxes who disappears for months on end, then suddenly reappears ready to make you feel happy and tingly all over. I guess she knows the secret of Santa Claus. If you only come around every now and then and leave gifts, you will become one of the most beloved figures. Amanda, you are my Santa. Now, let’s find you some milk and cookies. Enjoy.

Miley Cyrus Topless, Cindy Crawford Covered Nekkid, Rosie Huntington-Whiteley Nipple Show Highlight the Epic W Magazine Pictorial

 
Cindy Crawford Covered Nekkid in Bed in W Magazine March 2014
Click to See Uncensored

I know people make fun of me for my vast women’s magazine subscriptions. Go on, chuckle, just like the middle school skate gang that terrorizes me outside my own stoop when I go to retrieve my lady journals. But who has the last laugh when the very first Miley Cyrus topless pictures show up in W Magazine, along with Lara Stone topless, Miranda Kerr barely covered nekkid in the bed, and Cindy Crawford, well, damn. Oh, why not throw in Rosie-Huntington-Whiteley in a see-through bra, Vanessa Hudgens different looking hotness, Milla Jovovich stunning, Rita Ora biting on a bed sheet, and Ciara looking boudoir sextastic.

It’s only one of the finest magazine photo spreads ever. Certainly monumental, epic, and initiating the clarion call for a little private time viewing. Yep, who’s laughing now Mr. Postman, old neighbor lady, skate kids, and mom? You’ve had your fun belittling me through the years. I’ll take my topless wicked hot celebrity photos and my perfume samplers, thank you very much. Enjoy.

See More Miley Cyrus Topless Reveals »

Miley Cyrus Topless Outtake from W Magazine (Are These Miley’s Sweet Teats?)

 
Miley Cyrus Topless Outtake in W Magazine
Click to See Uncensored

Well, you never quite know about these topless outtakes, but I’m willing to go with this visual notion of Miley Cyrus topless in a quite delicate black and white photo from her recently covered nekkid photo spread in W magazine. I’d like to give a conditional ‘woohoo’ for some petite but perfect knockers.

At this point we’ve seen so much of Miley, I’m still trying to puzzle piece together her nekkid body from all photos of the pop diva taken from at least age of 18 onward flashing various top and bottom body parts. Thanks to a bunch of you for sharing this photo of Miley and what appears to be her first legit glamour photo. But, you never know, do you? This is why I stamp all the topless photos with my authentic mark of human tears. Enjoy.

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Miley Cyrus Nipple Slipping and Covered Nekkid and Oddly Shorn in W Magazine

This is an odd one indeed. I can’t tell what is tricks of the camera and what is post, but Miley Cyrus looks little like Miley Cyrus in this definitely worth checking out pictorial in the upcoming edition of W magazine. She’s definitely nekkid save for a few accessories keeping her modesty, such as it is. But she also looks a tad like Space Miley, come from distant galaxies to get her party-on maybe since she’s told us she can’t stop.

My feelings are confused, which is unusual for me when looking at a girl without many clothes on. I’m typically more narrow of focus and pure of heart toward prurient interests. This one I have to think about, even as I realize the doctors say that thinking is not so good for my kind of brain. Enjoy.

Katy Cocktease Covers W Magazine

Katy Perry has never been happier. She’s got another successful album of pop ditties out. She’s soon to be engaged to John Mayer, which I suppose is many a girl’s dream (why not me??). And she’s a fine looking woman. But does all that contentment mean we’re getting any closer to seeing Katy’s fully bared yabbos in pictures? Now, you’re just California Dreaming.

Katy covers the current W magazine, looking her usual lust-inducing semi-flashing self. The kind of allure that makes it all that much more difficult to think she will never  share her bodacious gifts with the rest of the world, outside of making big dough off the tease. It all seems so unfair when I think about it completely selfishly. And how else to view the world but through that lens? Enjoy.