Sofia Vergara, as she often does, stole the show at Oscar’s biggest after-party, the Vanity Fair something something. The party is for all the super hotties in Hollywood who couldn’t score an Academy Awards invite but who are by their very nature far more interesting than ant awards show. Including Sofia who knows exactly how to get all cameras turned in the direction of her cleavage with the beckon of her visual siren call.
Joining Sofia was the equally faptacular Kate Upton who pretty much makes a party on her own, lovelies Natalie Portman, Rashida Jones, Diane Kruger and several other women who are my dates to the Dairy Queen or alleys behind thereof in my nightly dreams. Somehow, my invitation got lost in the mail. I’m sure it was a postal oversight. I did have my best corduroy slacks almost pressed so was kind of a bummer when my publicist from MySuperPublicist.com told me I was not on the list. Oh, well. Always the chance of running into girls of this type at the bowling alley on Hollywood’s most sextastic evening. Enjoy.
Photo Credit: FameFlynet/Splash
Sofia Vergara is the wind beneath my wings. I’ve actually never truly understood what that lyric means, but if it means you’d like to strip somebody nekkid slowly over the course of hours, pour honey into every nook and cranny on their ridiculously curvy body, then play Hungry Pooh Bear through the rest of the evening, then it fits with Sofia and me.
Sofia Vergara has one amazing spread in the current edition of Shape magazine, and more impressively, was showing off her preening goodies behind the scenes of her shoot. Less airbrush, more Sofia doing what she does best. Being forty and making every man in the world want to shtup her. It sounds so much more subtle in Yiddish. Enjoy.
The muy caliente Sofia Vergara was seen leaving the gym in Beverly Hills in a pair of very snug tights. By snug I mean it looks like someone tattooed her lower half with leopard print because surely no tights this constrictive should exist. But they do. Her incredible curvy figure was on full display. Sofia’s booty is the kind of sexy that if I were a poet, I would compose a sonnet about it. I’d call it Ode to Sofia’s Badonk. But, of course, it isn’t all about her butt. With Sofia there is always those incredible funbags she has. They are maybe the best ta-tas on TV. Who can compare? I’m fairly certain that Sofia’s ginormous piñatas are the main reason that Modern Family is so popular. Add Sarah Hyland and Julie Bowen and you’ve got one sexy show. Plus it has Al Bundy.
I’ve often wondered how Sofia can even get around without falling over. She walks around with those sweater hams in defiance of all of the laws of gravity and physics.
Boobtacular Colombiana Sofia Vergara showed off some major cleav at a Justin Timberlake show in LA. She was there with her werewolf boyfriend Joe Manganiello. I’m going to make a bold statement that maybe you will disagree with but I’m going to say it anyway: Sofia Vergara has the best funbags in Hollywood. I mean, who else even compares to her? Her girls are both massive and perky. Do you know how hard that is to pull off, especially for a woman in her forties? It downright defies the laws of physics. As is her habit she was also wearing a pair of super tight jeans that showed off her shapely Latin booty.
What I love about Sofia is that she is well aware that a lot of her fame has to do with her body and she’s OK with that. That’s why she always dresses provocatively. The fact that she’s genuinely funny is only a plus. ¡Gracias!
Brad Pitt does all kinds of charitable good-deeds in New Orleans since Katrina. Suffice it to say, he deserves some kudos for his benevolent work there. Not the least of which was inviting his celebrity friends to town over the weekend for a big fund raising event for the Make It Fight Foundation, including Sofia Vergara who packed her award winning thumper into one super tight white dress that could be seen from all points along the Mississippi.
I don’t know the first thing about throwing a fancy gala fundraiser, but I’m guessing that having a hot Colombian woman with her badonkadonk flashing like a beacon of passion inducement is a strong start. I know I tend to be far more generous in those types of visual environs myself. So, good on you as well, Sofia. Using your sweet lady curves for a righteous cause. Everybody’s a winner. Enjoy.
When it comes to red carpet competitions, I pity the poor woman who even attempts to keep up with Sofia Vergara. Between that veteran hot body, those twin fiestas of joy, and the experience to put it all together in one camera-attracting ball of must-shoot hotness, Sofia is really the queen of the red carpet hill. She’s an unstoppable force of the decked out sextastic, again at the premiere of Chef at the Tribeca Film Festival.
I have a feeling Sofia Vergara looks wicked hot and put together just going to take a tinkle in the morning. I might be projecting my dreams a bit, but she just always looks like a million bucks. Oh, to be the guy who gets to cinch up her blessedly bodacious top. Who I wouldn’t knock into the river to get that gig. Enjoy.
Modern Family star Sofia Vergara looks as amazing as she always in the May issue of Women’s Health Magazine. The Colombian superstar is wearing teeny tiny shorts and a t-shirt that she seems desperate to take off. In the cover photo, she has tied the shirt up to show some of her muscled stomach. And, of course, her famous ladies look like they are going to leap off the page and give you the motorboating of your lifetime. I’ve been in love with Sofia since I was a young lad and she appeared on my mom’s telenovelas. The amazing thing about Sofia is that she is as hot now as she was when she was in her twenties. That’s a rare feat. I forget sometimes that she’s in her forties.
As far as I’m concerned, Sofia may be the perfect woman. Like, the Platonic form of womanhood I learned about in my useless college philosophy classes.