When Vanity Fair invites you to a party, you put on your finest showiest outfit and you head right on over. Okay, maybe six hours of hair and makeup first. There is a protocol. When Vanity Fair throws their Young Hollywood Party, well even I take a minute to brush my hair so I’l look half decent from my rooftop perch across the street from the party. Don’t worry, but Young Hollywood they mean the lovely thespianics and models in their early 20′s for the most part, like underrated hottie Shay Mitchell and Bradley Cooper’s young girlfriend, Suki Waterhouse.
Zoey Deutch and Victoria Justice and Sarah Hyland and Maria Menounos showed up just because they had killer dresses to wear and hear there was an open bar. Fair enough. The more hotties the merrier I always say. In fact, it’s tattooed on my ankle. February is the month of the biggest parties in Hollywood, all leading up to The Oscars this Sunday. It will be my distinct privilege to try and remain sober for that sparkling event. 50-50 as of right now. Enjoy.
Photo Credit: AKM-GSI
Emma Holten releases a dozen hot naked pics. Yeah! (WWTDD)
Jennifer Lopez showed off her chichis at a Golden Globes after party. (Huffington Post)
Ashley Benson defies gravity in her sexy workout routine. (Drunken Stepfather)
Kelly Brook and Elisha Cuthbert make quite the sexy pair. (COED)
Johnny Depp and Amber Heard are really into PDA at the Art of Elysium show. (The Superficial)
Emmanuelle Chirqui has some amazing Golden Globes of her own. (Celebslam)
Once more, I’ve been snubbed by the GQ Man of the Year Award. I’m not even going to look who won. I’m sure it’s George Clooney or some civil rights leader or the Pope or Obama or somebody who really isn’t a horrible second place choice, but one of these years I would like to have my hard work recognized by more than my grade school alumni newsletter which calls me a ‘mildly successful purveyor of naughty things’. C’mon, GQ, this is why the magazine business is suffering.
Nevertheless, the periodical did manage to bring out hotties like Shay Mitchell, Charli XCX, and other young sextastic celebrities of distinction who think real men love articles on how best to blow dry your hair in low humidity conditions. I’d like to think when I finally get tapped for my award, 5,000 of the world’s most outrageously good looking women will attend and gang attack me with loofahs in an enormous bubble bath. In fact, I’m not even showing up to accept unless that part is somewhat guaranteed. I’m nobody’s second choice. Enjoy.
Photo Credit: Getty Images/ Splash News
Are you familiar with Shay Mitchell, Cannuckian hottie from Pretty Little Liars? If not, you’re about to get to know her, most every single inch of her in this super fine super silky hot bodied pictorial of Shay in Esquire Philippines. Yes, I’d go a long way ’round the world for a visual taste of Shay. She’d probably go even farther trying to hide from me. But I’m pretty good at finding Carmen Sandiego when she looks like Shay Mitchell does in a low-cut nightie.
Shay is another one of the half Filipina girls who drive me absolutely wild. I once dated a girl like this. She left me because she said I stared too much at her booty, which when combined with my being unemployed and addicted to Farmville, was somehow some kind of deal breaker. But you look at the likes of Shay Mitchell and try not to stare. That’s a dare you can’t win. Shay wins, because hot girls always win. Enjoy.