Kellie Pickler, Miranda Lambert, Sofia Vergara Highlight the Hotness at Country Music Awards

One thing you can count on at the American Country Music Awards: twang and ta-ta’s. That’s two things. Well, three if you’re one of the technical types. The ladies do know how to squeeze into tight pushing up dresses for the country music events. It’s all part of the milieu and definitely the better part of the events for me.

Kellie Pickler, Miranda Lambert, and Beth Behrs were among the lovely blondes strutting their curves on the carpet last night of what I believe was the 50th anniversary of the event. Texas girls were everywhere, meaning the makeup and cleavage was simply unstoppable. There was music too I suppose, though I must admit my lack of knowledge of all things country music outside of their women folk. And I suppose the tales of boozing and womanizing and heartbreak and making bad mistakes. I really should relate more to country music. Bring on the ladies! Enjoy.

Photo Credit: INF/Splash

Rose And Rosie Sextastic Hotties at London in L.A. Event

Anytime there’s a celebration called London in L.A. my mind immediately races to British hotties in the area who might be attending. To be fair, Rose Byrne is an Aussie, but she and Britty hot hot Rosie Huntington-Whiteley certainly stole the show last night at the hands across the Atlantic event.

Rose Byrne opted for classy but see-through that allowed us a more intimate peek at her intimates, albeit entirely on purpose. While Rosie went for cleavetastic super model goodness. I could have been happy as either for my date to the shindig, you know, had I been invited and this been the first chilly day in Hades in some time. Rather, my lot is to stare and drool at girls with swell accents and even sweller bodies, all of us swelling respectfully to our own devices. Keep it classy, Billy. I need to repeat that to myself more often. Enjoy.

Photo CreditL INF/Splash

Hilary Duff Sextastic See-Through Cowgirl at Coachella

Hilary Duff in her see-through shirt and Daisy Dukes is another one of those blessed offshoots of wristband crazy Coachella, wherein the music may define the event, but the sextastic celebrities are clearly the most important element.

Dare I say Hilary is single again and ready to mingle with her regular gym visiting worked out sweet mommy body. Still a peach at twenty-seven, Hilary is certain to find no shortage of suitors who dig blonde girls in short shorts. Or out of short shorts. Or just reveling in a little cowgirl fun time. Or all of the above. Oh, Hilary, this has to be karma. Leaving your athlete husband is going to require a rebound fling with a completely non-athletic individual. I volunteer myself. You’ll soon comes to treasure a man who might be missing six pack abs, but his fridge is never short of a six pack for Monday Night Football. Let’s make each other feel shameful. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: PacificCoastNews

Hotties Of The MTV Movie Awards: Hailee Steinfield See Through, Emily Ratajkowski Boobtastic, And Major Jennifer Lopez Cleavage

You know the MTV Movie Awards might just be the most inane movie awards of the year in Hollywood. That’s saying something. But being MTV and tradition and Viacom and all that, the big league hotties still come out to play on the red carpet for the silly bit of pretend cinema accolades. Girls such as Hailee Steinfeld all grown up now and flashing sextastic, Emily Ratajkowski exhibiting a case of the cleavetastic, and Jennifer Lopez, the godmother of red carpet hotness, flashing deep cleavage and a hem line that would’ve got her arrested a few decades ago. As it is, these girls and more were visually arresting much of the lower half of my body during the arrivals.

Tinsel Town is the ultimate oxymoron in entertainment. So much of it is horrid, but so much of it is filled with the world’s most beautiful women. That might be a conflict for many people, but the Egotastic! man knows how to ignore the craptastic in favor of the sextastic. The MTV Movie Awards were loaded with hotties. Put on the blinders and enjoy.

Photo Credit: FameFlynet

Helena Christensen Topless! Hot Danish Supermodel Beach Moms Are The Best

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Helena Christensen comes out of the supermodel O.G. class of the late 80′s and 90′s and if you think in the latter half of her Forties and Faptastic veteran hottie run she isn’t still pulling out all the perfect hot topless body stops, think again, young man. The mature sextastic ladies are doing it for themselves. Or is that to themselves? That’s kind of unfortunate with so many willing volunteers.

Featured in Madame Figaro in France, Helena show why the good looks and hot bodies of the genetically blessed never fade, they just get tanner and more alluring. The 46-year old Danish wonder leaves no doubt as to who is the fairest of them all, or in the very least, the most ogle-worthy mum on the beach. Wow. I’m in lust all over again with Helena. I can’t imagine being friends with her teen son. Oh, the boys she’s going to turn into men every summer. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: Madame Figaro France


Witney Carson Sextastic School Girl Heading To Dance Practice

Witney Carson is a dancer which means she has dancer legs and short skirts suit her more than fine. Along with the many other teases provided by the DWTS rehearsal space parking lot was the sight of the young blonde pro dancer from Utah flashing her gams and body in a skirt and high boots simply because that looks amazing to the gentleman oglers of the world.

Witney is just one of the many hard bodied lovely gammed women of Dancing With the Stars. If the show were about their workout routines and after workout routine rubdowns, I’d watch like my life depended on it. Unfortunately, it moves rather rapidly into sequined costumes and ball room dancing and spectacles on polished floors. I can’t even work up a halfhearted golf clap for that form of entertainment. As for Witney dressed like a bad-ass schoolgirl, I can work up a whole bucket full of applause. Carry on. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: AKM-GSI

Paris Hilton Wears A See Through Dress For Night Out In Hollywood

Hall of fame hottie Paris Hilton hit the town in a see-through dress. You know, like you do. The dress looks like the doilies that my grandmother used to put on her side tables. The result is that you could see plenty of skin through the holes. Paris has got an amazing body, as anyone who has ever seen a certain video can attest. She’s kept it tight all these years later. In fact, I think Paris is even hotter now. Time has given her an air of maturity or something. What I do know is that Paris being scantily clad is like a universal constant. Much like gravity will always pull things towards the Earth, Paris will dress in skimpy outfits.

Paris was recently in my mother land of Cuba, probably trying to seize back the Havana Hilton. That or she wanted to lie on a beach and drink rum.

Photo Credit: PacificCoastNews