Kendall Jenner, Hailey Baldwin, Gigi Hadid, Bella Hadid, And Cara Delevingne Hotties at The Grand Prix Of Monaco

This fearsome fivesome of faptastic young ladies are having themselves quite the time in Cannes and all the related activities of the locale and the season, including the nearby Monaco Grand Prix where the scent of money and burning fuel go hand in hand. Kendall Jenner, Cara Delevingne, Gigi Hadid and her barely legal sisterly cohort Bella Hadid, and Hailey Baldwin are bound to attract attention anywhere they travel, even straight into the heart of the principate of Monaco.

The five lovely sought after celebrity models poses and preened for the cameras whilst maintaining the pretend game of being all grow’d up at an adult function. The result was all eyes and camera lenses upon the famous quartet. You could do worse with the girls guests at your summer shindig. I should know, I routinely do worse. Though I’m still hoping these girls show up to my Memorial Day above ground pool party, there are like twenty guys counting on it. Simply sextastic. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: FameFlynet

Barbara Palvin Leggy And Cleavy and Stunning at Cannes

Hungarian hot stuff Barbara Palvin took her turn at Cannes this past week to bare her epic fine body and some legs honed by nature and Pilates. She’s just one of the many super fine specimens of sextastic womanhood who made their way through the byways, avenues, and red carpets of Cannes during the many film festival swank events. But the one I intend to make my fourth ex-wife someday, so I figured I’d share some of her more alluring moments from the South of France.

Next year I intend to be in the Cannes area for all the festivities. Depending upon how you interpret my European Union write and Interpol designation, I might have to be a few miles out into international waters, but I’m quite a good swimmer relative to what you might expect. I could do some night time beaching if it meant hanging with the likes of Barbara Palvin, just a step or two behind all the security guards. She exudes passion inducement. I just need to get within her sphere. I shall dwell in her pheromones. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: AKM-GSI/FameFlynet

Hethielly Beck See Through Top And Bikini Bottoms

Hottie Hethielly Beck is back and baring her wares for the creepily mysterious bottled water company. I’m not a big fan of the floppy hats and glasses, though I do understand the need for UV protection, but in contrast consider me a mega fan of bikini bottoms and see-through tops that provide a sweet glimpse of Hethielly’s treats.

I’ll say this for the odd folks at 138 Water, everyday somewhere on the beach in Southern California is a half-nekkid smoking hot model posing with their bottles. To what end other than us gentlemen oglers reaping the visual benefits of stimulation and circulation? Like I’ve ever asked myself that question seriously. Hethielly, keep up the good work. Your body needs to be shared with the world, but if that seems like to broad a goal, let’s just start with me. Screw the rest of the world. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: FameFlynet

Natalie Portman See Through Dress to the Rootie Tootie Booty on the Cannes Red Carpet

Oh, Natalie Portman, even though you’ve moved to France and married a ballet dancer and had a baby and sworn off nekkid movie roles and lost too much weight, how can I not stare at your bum on the carpet at Cannes when you’re wearing a see-through dress? That’s kind of rhetorical. I’ve been watching here for twenty minutes now. Natalie was once of great interest to me, her body most especially. And though she’s flown off our radar, impure feelings die slowly. Mine still burn. Seeing Natalie’s tush makes them burn a little more hot and all ember like.

Natalie, there is still time to salvage our one way feelings of lust and passion. First, a few sandwiches. I must insist. Second, we never ever speak of the ballet or men in tights or dancing on tiptoes ever again. You can keep the kid, but I’m going to need her or him with grandma during our Tuesday, Wednesday, and every other Friday sloppy but tender making of the sexy sessions that will run into the morning. No child should be forced to see that, or worse, hear it. Natalie, this see-through number is a good start. It’s a signal. Now, take the next step. You can go home again. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: Splash/INF

Witney Carson See Through and Decked Out All Grow’d Up Goodness

I’ve received requests from many of you for more off-show shots of young blonde DWTS dancer Witney Carson. I think some of these requests might be coming from her family and public relations agency, whichever one is still using hotmail, but who am I to turn down the chance to share some young blonde goodness across the webisphere. You know how I feel about dancing TV shows, but on the flip side, they do introduce us to a number of hot dancers with even hotter dancer bodies. These girls have strong legs, all the better to crush you with.

Featured in this see-through grow’d up sextastic photoshoot for Composure magazine, Witney shows exactly why she should have a health and hopefully exhibitionist career beyond ballroom dancing, the combination of those two names alone causing me a fifteen minute refractory period on my soul. She’s blonde and saucy and did we mention those legs that could crack a million nuts. May yours find their way into that special line. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: John Hong For Composure Magazine

Rosie Roff and Abigail Ratchford Cleavy Brunette Hosting Hotties at Argyle

My Pennsylvania Common Law wife Abigail Ratchford and her Britty brunette hot model friend Rosie Roff hosted a celebration of the Mexican victory over France at the Battle of La Puebla in the 19th century. Go figure. They brought along their sextastic cohort Jazelle Morales to complete the trio of busty alluring brunettes working their Hollywood hostess magic like no other.

Now, I could lament the fact that this was another happening hot girl party in my own town where I was suspiciously and quite hurtfully not invited. But since I happened to begin my Cinco de Mayo celebrations on Tres de Mayo and didn’t become conscious again until Siete de Mayo, I can only cry so much over spilled horchata. See how I did that? However, if the racktastic delights of Abigail, Rosie, and Jazelle ever get together again in their showy dresses with busty goodness and exclude me, I shall cry as a child who has lost his lollipop, because that’s pretty much a spot-on metaphor. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: Twist Photo

Miley Cyrus Wild Night Of Pasties, See Through Funbags, And Underboob

Miley Cyrus certainly had herself one wild night of being the center of all things boobtastic attention, appearing in pasties, flashing underboob, and basically just flashing her ta-ta’s quite visibly through a mesh top that hid pretty much nothing. Exhibiting her bare peaches is nothing new for Miley who continues to be the leader in worldwide sports related to body part revealing. Certainly among internationally famous pop stars, she’s raising the bar on what one must, nay, should, do in order to be considered a serious musician. If you got ‘em, flaunt ‘em.

Miley Cyrus is just one lustable little scamp. She takes a lot of flack for basically being just a young twenty-something girl who wants to party and let you watch her intimately while she does. What’s not to like? The moral police need to take a holiday. Not everybody is going to become a doctor or an app designer. The world has plenty of those as it is. I’ll take Miley as-is. She’s a giver in a world of takers. I mean, just look at her funbags. They practically spell benevolence. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: Splash