Red Carpet Posts:

Selena Gomez Bares Midriff for Behaving Badly Screening

Selena Gomez has been all over the places these days. All around the world exploring new places and people and other kinds of experimentation perhaps of the Sapphic variety. But she made her way back to Los Angeles to pimp her new movie, Behaving Badly, which while it does contain nudity, sadly, won't be Selena Gomez baring any of her wares.

Selena is looking extra fine these days after some rest and relaxation and scissor kissing and the like, flashing her lickable midsection on the red carpet for the special screening. Her chest does seem to be noticeably larger, whether that be the mechanics of fashion or some other more involved means, I do not know for sure. But, suffice it to say, I would adore Selena from A cup to DD cup and everywhere in betwixt. I'm flexible like that. Enjoy.

Megan Fox Hella Hot Down Mexico Way for Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Premiere

Megan Fox could sell me anything. Even on the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. While I have a feeling it's going to insult my childhood something fierce, how I can I really skip any movie with the delicious brunette sextastic Megan Fox running around in tight sweaters. I'd watching her cleaning stables dressed like that.

Megan Fox was the star of the red carpet for the TMNT premiere in Mexico City, where she showed off her svelt figure and perfectly toned legs and make everybody stop carrying about the turtles origin stories and similar fan boy divisions. It was just about imagining April O'Neil diligently reporting on the feelings of passions running up and down your nervous system. The tingles have spoken. I will see you opening day, Megan. Sucker am I. Enjoy.

Megan Fox Super Foxy at Some Fake Nickelodeon Awards

I have no idea if we're supposed to believe there's such a thing as the Nickelodeon Kids Choice Sports Awards. I can't even fathom what that would entail. But most importantly, Megan Fox believed they were real and showed up looking all kinds of sextastic, if not a bit demure, for the red carpet of the show.

We don't get to see Megan Fox much these days, certainly outside of her mommy sweats and such, so this trumped up awards show was a blessing without a disguise. We've really missed Megan and her legs and all over brunette allure. Hopefully she'll come back to us in more made up events, like the pretend film I'm shooting called Megan Fox Gets Hella Nekkid. You don't need to know the story, you've already bought your tickets. Enjoy.

Jessica Alba and Chrissy Teigen’s Funbags Highlighted the Hotness at the 2014 ESPY Awards

When ESPN announced that Drake would be hosting the 2014 ESPY awards, I kind of felt that pang in my stomach like, oh, know, I'm off-demo for the ESPYs. Not that I'm not a monster Drake fan, his face above my bed next to Justin and the boys from One Direction. Still, I felt old. Thankfully, the hotties on the red carpet came quickly along and made me feel young in the soul and nether regions again.

The lineup of sextastic celebrities at the ESPY's wavers from year to year, but there's always some significant highlights. Like this year, Jessica Alba, the uber-sextastic MILF who can do no wrong, and Chrissy Teigen, whose new pea-henning of her burgeoning ta-ta's has been a true delight these past few months. The duo weren't they only lovely ladies in attendance, but after they did arrive, I had to hit the cold shower for 97 minutes to get back into caring about sports mode. The ESPY's have flailed a bit, but there's nothing a solid dose of the sextastic can't make you forget about. Enjoy.

Selena Gomez Flashes Serious Leg at Not So Serious Ischia Global Festival

For a tiny island, Ischia off the coast of Italy has been packed this week with the world's hottest celebrities for some made up film and arts festival. Somehow, they never host them in Cleveland (maybe that changes now that LeBron's back).

Included today in the parade d' hotties was Selena Gomez, looking all grow'd up and flashing serious legs at one of the festivals red carpet events. For a relatively petite little minx, Selena manages to flash seemingly long stems made of pure lust inducement. Her calves alone could cause me to swim out to the island, seeing as how my yacht is still in the shop. Te amo, Selena. You and your new big jugs have really made my summer. Enjoy.

Nicola Peltz White Hot Clingy Boobtastic for Transformers Premiere in Berlin

Despite my rather unfavorable review of Transformers: Age of Extinction, there was one obviously shining element to the film, the lovely and talented and blonde hotness that is Nicola Peltz. T

he young sextastic actress got the full Michael Bay treatment in the film, similar to Megan Fox and Rosie Huntington Whiteley before her. If there's one thing Michael Bay does well, it's turning young starlets into total sexpots with powerful lighting and unbuttoned tops in his movies. Nicola Peltz might have had twenty stupid lines to recite, but she looked pretty stellar doing so.

Nicola looked like a million plus one half million dollars in tight white dress on the red carpet of the Berlin premiere of the movie. Wow, just so damn hot. Did she make the film worth watching? Almost. I'd rather have just seen her trying on her various revealing wardrobes, but that option wasn't given. Someday I hope. Nicola, we need to see much more of you. Enjoy.

Tatyana Ali, Naturi Naughton, Adrienne Bailon Bring Out the Bigguns for BET Awards

The hot ladies of color were anything but demure over the weekend at the BET Awards were big ole sweet boobtastic rules the day on the red carpet. As it should be. If you weren't adjusted your sweet jugs walking up to the event, you weren't even in the game. Sextastic rackalicious likes of Tatyana Ali, Adrienne Bailon, Naturi Naughton, Ashanti, Pia Mia Perez, Amber Rose (and for some reason, Paris Hilton) all walked the chesty show off walk for the Awards show.

I don't watch a lot of BET programming, though that number would rise dramatically if there was a show called March of the Big Chested Lovely Ladies. I'd DVR that with override to Must Record. Because women of all colors float my boat. The S.S. Egotastic!, with stops in all ports of call where we aren't currently wanted dead or alive for crimes of passion. Hey, a sailor gets lonely. Enjoy.