Red Carpet

Alessandra Ambrosio, Jackie Guerrido, Rocsi Diaz And Others En Fuego At The Latin Grammies

I don’t mind telling you that I love the Latin Grammies. Not so much for all of the Spanish-speaking music world patting itself on the back but because it brings out all the hottest Latinas. As a Latino myself it is great to have a chance to ogle a wide variety of my people for a change. Perennial hottie Alessandra Ambrosio was on hand looking as boobtacular as ever. She was wearing an outfit with a plunging neckline so deep that it almost reached her hoo-haa. Oh, Lord was there cleav. Jackie Guerrido was there as well looking her usual sexy self. That woman has got some legs that are muy caliente, mi amigos. I wouldn’t mind one bit if those puppies were lying next to me on a cold night. Rosci Diaz had a dress on that was low cut so you could see her chi chis and high at the bottom so you could gander at her magnificent legs. Ay ya yay!

All in all it was a magical night. There were hotties too numerous to mention. It’s like los Reyes Magos came early this year to bring the gift of boobs.

Bella Thorne And Jennifer Aniston Are White Hot Hotties at Horrible Bosses 2 Premiere

Sexy duo Jennifer Aniston and Bella Thorne were looking particularly boobtastic at the premiere of Horrible Bosses 2. Bella wore a pant suit thing with a super plunging neckline and, whoops, she forgot to wear a bra. The result is some cleav for the ages, my friends. Bella has some nice pert and perkies that I very much enjoy looking at. The rear was also missing from the top so you could marvel at her perfect back, (an underrated part of the female anatomy). Jennifer was also cleavtacular in her low cut dress. I’ve been a big fan of Jennifer Aniston’s knockers ever since the early 90′s when she was on Friends. Let’s face it, those hooters and that famous hair cut launched her career. She’s also friggin’ sexy as hell in the last Horrible Bosses movie.

Not that I condone that type of sexual harassment behavior. But if I were Charlie Day I totally would have drilled that dentist.

Reese Witherspoon Heavenly White Hot Owning the Wild Red Carpet

Okay, we saw Kimberly Cole on this same red carpet for the movie Wild earlier, but let’s be honest, Reese Witherspoon is the star of this movie and the girl I dream about nekkid fishing with nightly. She absolutely owned the paparazzi at her own star turning film premiere, as she should, and she did. Reese gets ridiculed at times for her occasionally drunkenly silly outbursts at the po-po, as if the rest of us are somehow immune to acting stupid while under the influence of too many beverages. Reese is by all accounts, just one fine minxy bosomy MILF making her way in the rough streets of Brentwood.

And when Reese gets all decked out for galas and red carpet, man, look out. She is a true knockout. I believe they call this movie star beauty. I just call it, oh, please, may I have a small taste, just a sliver. It’s never polite to insist on a big piece of pie. My grandma taught me that. She was a crude lady. Enjoy.

Kimberly Cole Braless Lacy Flashes for the Premiere of Wild

Wild is the epic journey of Reese Witherspoon into nature to recover from a personal tragedy and rediscover her own humanity. Okay, unless Reese has to disrobe to save herself from a feral bear, I’m not going to see this. It sounds too deep for my cursory level understanding of the human condition. Conditions brought on by the likes of MTV hostess and pop singer Kimberly Cole strutting the red carpet of the Wild movie premiere without any bra.

You may have noticed a definite trend in Hollywood fashion of late that is very anti-bra. Or, what you might call, very pro-Egotastic! I’m not sure which fashion maven has convinced so many hot women in the business to show off upstairs commando, but I want to give them a big wet kiss. Or maybe just a box of See’s Candies to be safe. Kimberly Cole looked mighty fine in her own backless and braless lacy gown. I do so highly endorse this look. Not to mention the up to one saved in trying to unclasp a brassiere should be so ever fortunate and dexterously impaired as I. Enjoy.

Kristen Stewart, Emily Ratajkowski, Jenna Dewan Tatum Highlight the Hotties at the 2014 Hollywood Film Awards

You’ve got me. I have no clue what the Hollywood Film Awards are. Apparently, this is the 18th annual version of the event and I’m still kind of dumbfounded. That’s not an unusual state of mind in my regard, and you know I believe we simply can’t have enough award shows honoring the benevolent and heroic daily lives of our Hollywood celebrities, such an under-recognized bunch they are. Still, can’t say I’ve ever heard of this one. Though it certainly did bring out the big names in A-list talent along with a bevy of decked out sextastic Tinsel Town lovelies including Kristen Stewart, Emily Ratajkowski, Felicity Jones, Jing Tian, Lia Marie Johnson, Jenna Dewan Tatum and many more.

As always, I fall back on the guiding rule that any event with attractive women is a worthwhile event. Like most of the award shows that will start with award season in January, the upside is the gaggle of glorious hotties who’ve spent hours looking their best. As they always do. So pass out your shiny trophies and auto-fellate yourself into the seventh level of Nirvana, Hollywood. Just keep on bringing out the smoking hot women in showy gowns and we’re all good.

Jessica Alba, Kate Hudson, Ashley Benson Among the Hotties Showing Off for Baby2Baby Gala

I don’t have time to look, well, the energy, but I’ll assume Baby2Baby is some awesome cause perhaps serving babies everywhere. Maybe like some milk delivery service. Something worthy of bringing out the super hotties in Hollywood to support. And boy did the lovely ladies of Tinsel Town come out in cleavy droves to this event looking incredibly.

Try on for size Jessica Alba, Ashley Benson, Kate Hudson, Jordana Brewster, and Molly Sims for a little sextastic aperitif. All of these ladies looking more than stellar, all well worthy of carrying my child at some point in the future, maybe even starting today, ladies? Oh, the decked out hotties all fecund and ready to help me amass my small army of Egotastic offspring. My heart swells with pride. Let’s just say it’s my heart for now. Hot moms really are heaven on earth. Enjoy.

Selena Gomez Cleavy At The Unlikely Heroes Awards Dinner And Gala

Sexy Selena Gomez was looking particularly cleavy and boobtastic at the Unlikely Heroes Awards dinner and gala. She was sporting a general’s jacket looking thing but forgot to wear either a bra or a shirt underneath. Silly Selena. She forgets to wear bras a lot of the time. I must say that I wholeheartedly approve. Selena has some of my favorite ta-tas of anyone in the biz. They are big and shaped nice without looking monstrous on her frame. What I’m saying is that her boobies suit her well. I often write in my dream journal about how it’s not fair that Justin Bieber has gotten to nuzzle into those lady pillows while I have not. I know that it’s just a stupid wish from a lonely boy from suburban Texas but I would like to hold those bad boys just one time before I die.

That will probably never happen, but I can dream can’t I?