At one point she was Jade Elizabeth. On the current season of The Bachelor, she’s Jade Roper. Online, she’s Jade Elizabeth Roper. Quite frankly, I’ll call her anything she likes provided she just smiles in my direction. Okay, smiles while topless and revealing her stellar ta-ta’s as featured in her Playboy shoot of not so very long ago.
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I’m not sure how Jade got booted by the Bachelor. I wouldn’t watch that show if some villain had my family held hostage with horrible threats. I can always find new family, it’s my TV time that’s precious. All I know is it’s incredibly staged and the audience skews heavily female which could be the only reason in ‘reality’ a man would ever decided Jade Elizabeth Roper was not the girl for him. Oh, please can it with the ‘she be crazy’ nonsense. A girl who looks like this, you expect a little personality quarks. God doesn’t want anybody to be perfect. There’s simply not fun in that. Enjoy.
Photo Credit: PlayboyPlus
I’m fairly helpless to resist my own game now of seeing one sextastic celebrity earlier in the day and no peeking at her without any clothes on later in the day. I’m pretty sure Milton Bradley is about to make me an offer to turn this into a board game. For now, it’s simply platinum blonde hottie Colleen Shannon who we saw earlier in hot pants on the set of a movie, now in no pants at all flashing her tubes emeritus on the pages of Playboy magazine.
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People always give the advice not to dwell, but I’ve been dwelling on Colleen’s impossibly hot Playboy body for the past twenty-nine minutes and I feel nothing but fantastic. Maybe I had that advice wrong. Our friends at PlayboyPlus are throwing in a kicker with these stellar shots of Colleen Shannon. A Free Week of Playboy.TV. They want you just to try it out, because everybody who tries it out loves it. I did. You will. Is that dangerous? Not as dangerous as when Colleen Shannon comes to you and asks you if you’ll do anything for her and you say yes before knowing what it is. Because that could happen. Enjoy your Jamaican prison stint. Enjoy.
Photo Credit: Playboy Plus
I do miss this game. This udderly delicious turn at seeing one sextastic celebrity hottie clothed by day, or last night actually when I saw Jaime Pressly in her new TV series, Jennifer Falls. And then by day, see her in one of her exquisitely classic topless pictorials in Playboy Magazine from our friends at Playboy Plus, a site that if you don’t belong, you’re simply not wasting time on the Internet properly.
Jaime Pressly has been in the news of late both for her new TV show and for talk about some medical issues related to her breast health. We obviously root for all women on Egotastic!, and we obviously root a bit harder for women who are so hot they make our toes burn just from imagining them on top of us on top of hot cement. Why the cement? I’m not sure, I never question my dreams.
Jaime Pressly and oh, a thousand of her super hot celebrity model and actress nekkid friends can be had on Playboy Plus for just $5.83/month now for Egotastic! readers. If you can think of a better way to spend a few bucks a month than perusing an infinite amount of hot photo and video content of Playmates and celebrities, then I’d like to know. Okay, yes, grandma needs to eat, but outside of that, get Playboy Plus. Enjoy life a little more.
Some of our silver fox readers were wondering if maybe we could use our unholy relation with the Bunny empire to pull out a few more of the classic hotties they grew up having fun time private time to. Why of course said I. Because I like to think of myself as the R-Rated Santa Clause. In that vein, why not look at the incredible sextastic that is Teri Copley, who boys were turning into men to in the early 80′s, and not long after took it all off for Playboy.
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The 80′s were such much simpler times. Sexist TV shows like We Got It Maid just seemed downright okay. Now everything has to be hidden and decoded. I’m guessing Teri didn’t mind so much being the blonde bombshell, even if they did make her the cliche bubble head. A gig’s a gig. Trust me, I’m much smarter than what I play on here. I keep telling myself. Check out Teri, take a walk down mammary lane, and enjoy.
We had a rather warm reception to last week’s announcement that our bodaciously boobtastic object d’ lust, Emily Shaw, had changed her name to Emily Agnes and was set to be the Playmate of the Month for July 2014. Quite an honor. And quite an opportunity for us to bring you yet another pictorial of the ever so crazy hot yams and all over fine female form of Emily Hottie. That might just be the right name for her.
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Emily plays the role of naughty “Insatiable’ vixen in her new set of Playboy shoots. The very thought of Emily as a nymphomaniac with that body as her weapon makes me want to surrender in all kinds of bound by silken ropes ways. I love the glasses. But if she whipped them off purposefully and told me what a bad boy I’ve been, I would definitely need oxygen, a defibrillator, and some peanut butter M&Ms. It’s never the wrong time for peanut butter M&M’s. Oh, Emily, you are a heartthrob of intensely throbbing proportions. Enjoy.
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80′s Playmate Luann Lee claims that Melanie Brown, aka Mel B, aka Scary Spice, aka X-Factor judge hottie popped into the disabled toilet at Planet Hollywood in Vegas right after her and proceeded to get it on in the toilet for an hour. This while Melanie’s husband guarded the bathroom. Nice job if you can get it. I have no idea if this really happened or not, Luann seems to have plenty of details, but I’d like to think it happened. I celebrate lesbionics in all ways possible, especially between a veteran hottie Spice Girl and a 50-year old still hot ex-Playmate.
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Naturally, I ran to our friends at PlayboyPlus for genuine nekkid photos of Luann from her Playmate days. She was rather smoking hot. She still is a good looking lady. Enough so that Melanie Brown chased her down into a toilet stall for some scissor kissing. I would ask that next time the two Sapphic leaning ladies not use the disabled stall as that is rather rude, albeit, I think we should make exceptions for lesbionic hotties going at it. Enjoy.
I like to think of Emma Glover and I as BFFs. That’s like FWB without the B. Oh, that I could have more platonic relationships with gorgeous women in my life. That’s the ticket to happiness, not to mention painful crying tears throughout the overnight hours. Nevertheless, while I may never truly experience the full and ample pleasure of knowing Emma Glover in any biblical fashion, the fun parts of the bible that is, that does not take away from the happy tingles I receive viewing her absolutely perfect body and outrageously hot funbags as herein in her new pictorial for Playboy Magazine.
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To celebrate this majestic views of her her royal sexiness, I’m going to become slightly catatonic, followed by a brief frenzy of activity, and then a bath of some sort. I’m also going to extend to you ONE WEEK FREE TRIAL on Playboy.TV. Because it’s almost mother’s day and mom would want you to be happy. Especially for free. I wouldn’t be pimping this if it wasn’t bound to make you happier than that tuna sandwich you’re about to eat. And you had to pay for that.
Emma Glover, someday, in some parallel universe where there are two suns, I shall experience your two moons with galactic passion. But, for today, it’s all about scratch and sniff on my monitor. I can do the two simultaneously thanks to monumental levels of practice. Enjoy.