Finally, a Sia video I can really wrap my head, and hands, around. Sia’s become quite famous for her angst filled songs and her even more angst ridden music videos featuring little girl versions of herself and for some reason Shia LaBeouf without clothes on. That should suffice for the epitome of all things not Egotastic. But this Fire Meets Gasoline music video quite the opposite, thanks to the sextastic spotlight on Heidi Klum bouncing around in black lingerie.
I’m sure like all Sia songs this one is depressing and morbid but I choose to find nothing but hope and optimism in the ridiculously hot Forties and Faptastic body of the German supermodel. Heidi Klum makes everything better. I only wish she’d go back to creating content for guys, even if her fortune is coming from her female audience. She has so much left to give. I’m making my own list for her in that regard of things I’d like to receive. Heidi in black lingerie should turn many boys into men and many men into begging fools. Such is the power of the wicked hot mom. Enjoy.
Photo Credit: Sia “Fire Meet Gasoline”
Emily Ratajkowski can do no wrong. Not with that body of hers. But she can do so much so right. Like any time she gets tapped to model lingerie. Even the slightly demure Free People line of underthings that are environmentally sound, socially conscious, and play Pete Seeger songs every time you snap the elastic. Oh, how I’d snap snap Emily Ratajkowski in her bras and panties.
Emily has been making men happy to be men for several years now, with her star rising steadily in the time since we first started featuring her fine female form. Those who say nekkid modeling will in any way damage your career path in Hollywood are simply thinking from a long ago era. It means nothing professionally, but ever so so much to the millions of us who experience Emily in our dreams routinely. We are a people with pearl clutching gaspers among us. Ignore them. They have their thing. We have our thing. Most notably at the moment, Emily Ratajkowski in lingerie. We win. Enjoy.
Photo Credit: Free People
Someday, the technology gods will gift us with a tool more noble in prurient purpose than social media, but for now, this humdinger of a digital highway provides more hotness per byte than any other invention previous to mankind. Unless you believe dinosaurs once had an advanced technology kingdom on earth that was wiped out by evil dinosaurs from another planet like I do. Then maybe there was something better. But as for what we know, three cheers for the social media pic sharing craze.
This week’s Sextastic Twitpic Roundup includes a stunning bikini shot of up and coming Pia Mia Perez, Emily Ratajkowski dazzling again with her lucky forearm providing cover, Miley Cyrus almost freeing the nipple, Charli XCX eating pizza in her bra as I always imagined she does, Coco Austin performing miracles of booty yoga, Maitland Ward flashing her ginormous lovelies, Kendall Jenner showing off in a bikini, and much much more. You owe it to the people who believe that receiving a tax refund means you made money to check out each and every one of these amazing social media shared visual wonderments. Enjoy.
Photo Credit: Instagram
I think ‘barely covered’ is probably going to be pro forma descriptions for pretty much every Kendall Jenner photoshoot going forward. Well, perhaps the sprinkling of ‘uncovered’ will also be in the mix. You don’t have a body like Kendall’s and a Kardashian family mindset and not show off your wares. It’s simply not one of the options. Blessedly so.
Kendall’s latest and greatest long lean natural body exhibition appears in GQ magazine. The taller, slender Kardashian daughter exposes the full length of her sleek allure in some various tiny bits of clothing. I’m not sure what a Gentleman who reads this magazine is supposed to take away from these photos in terms of what watch to wear to power lunches, but I can tell you what the Gentleman Ogler takes away from it. Memories. Wonderful wonderful memories. Enjoy.
Photo Credit: GQ
I’ve never run a clothing line before, I’ve really never even been into a store beside my blessed Target, but were I in that position, I’d probably go out and hire the likes of Charlotte McKinney to model my goods. I’m pretty sure she makes everything from watches to toilet paper look sexy. Yeah, I might just watch the latter. Not for all audiences.
Charlotte shared some of her Guess modeling work on her own social media account, because when you look this good, you just have the urgency to pimp your own hot self. Damn, she does look good in that casual wear. I bet she’s look even better out of that casual wear. I suppose that’s the rub in selling clothes when the audience would prefer you model be nekkid. I’ll leave that to the marketing geniuses though I’m not altogether convinced they exist. Bless you, Charlotte. Enjoy.
Photo Credit: Guess/Instagram
Will you still need me, will you still please me, when I’m over fifty? If that question is coming from veteran telenovela star and TV hostess from down Mexico way, Mayra Rojas, why then the answer is a yes so loud it can be heard round the world. Wow, what a stunning bit of Latina hot mommy.
Appearing in Open magazine, Mayra reminds us by way of saucy black lingerie photos and covered topless visual wonderments how the sextastic only grows with age. Fifties are the new forties which are the new passion inducing peak for the truly amazing looking celebrities of the modern era. That age at which a woman knows exactly what she wants and isn’t afraid to tell you. Giggles only get you so far. You want a mom in lingerie with a specific list of demands. Will you be nibbling on her ear? She’ll let you know. It might help if you speak a little Spanish. Disfruta.
Photo Credit: Open Mexico
Lindsay Lohan is back. Okay, I know you’re going to say there may have been some work done to touch up these photos. Granted. But that’s true of every magazine say for my Ranger Rick spinoff, Squirrel Habitats. The point is, the red tinted boobtastic Lindsay Lohan looks remarkably good in a pushed up corset and cleavage for this shoot for Homme Style magazine. You’ll have to excuse the dudes in the photo, I think it’s French.
There has been perhaps no more consummate up-and-down roller coaster sextastic celebrity of the past decade than Lindsay Lohan, celebrating nearly a decade now since her first big lady nest baring drunken stumbles. She rises, she falls, and occasionally, like today, she puts on a show that reminds you why you as a guy cared in the first place. Your heart and pecker were alway in the right place. Now it’s time for Lindsay to come home again. Enjoy.
Photo Credit: Homme Style