Ireland Baldwin Topless Covered By Her Own Lucky Hands

You know I’ve been working with my clinical psychiatrist, the esteemed Dr. Jerry Wallis-Cox, to rid myself of these petty jealousies of both inanimate object and body parts of others that get to touch, hold, and or caress the funbags of my favorite celebrity darlings. Do you think the hands of Ireland Baldwin even realize how blessedly fortunate they are to be able to hold onto those magnificent temptress ta-ta’s. in this Tyler Kandel photoshoot? Doubt it. Whereas I would shank any one of you in the showers for a simple quick nibble.

Ireland Baldwin is perhaps my favorite Baldwin. Granted, once you throw out the brothers or just write them off to prison, there’s not a super amount of competition. But this daughter of Kim Bassinger was just blessed with the genetics of a very fine woman. She’s going places. In my mind, I can quickly think of seventeen possibilities, eighteen if you’ll allow me my late night co-ed steam room scenario. No reason to hold your own in there, Ireland. I’ve got you covered. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: Tyler Kandel

Lada Kravchenko Booty Cheek Peeks In See Through Lingerie

Let me see, hot blowing up Russian model in see-through lingerie. Yep, that’ll inspire a man to build a cabin or become a world leader, perhaps drop that final five pounds doing power aerobics class at the gym next to that other guy in those nylon shorts. The power of beautiful women to motivate the less fair gender is nothing short of remarkable. Right now, Lada Kravchenko mostly makes me want to chew on a piece of leather so I don’t bite my tongue.

The young Moscow native turning international photographer favorite shot ever so effortlessly, but sextastic crazy in this Erik Tranberg shoot for Satiety Paper. Every time I see a fine female form thusly and booty hot in lingerie, I’m reminded why lingerie was invented in the first place. I know, women want to feel like women. But there are many a man who also want to feel women. Wait, that came out exactly right. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: Erik Tranberg For Satiety Paper

Ginta Lapina Sextastic Swell Body Shots in Lingerie

Ginta Lapina is perhaps the most famous blonde model you’ve not heard of. The darling of many European magazines and commercial advertisements, the sextastic Latvian blonde often lends herself to high class fashion and lingerie campaigns, like this pictorial bit of wonderment for the La Senza brand. She has that certain, come hither and check out my panties, kind of passion inducement set of skills that translate quite well into sales. I myself will likely add a few new items to my shame closet of silky lady’s things. I’m told it’s more healthy to indulge than deny.

Ginta I think married some super rich dude, as these things go, which might explain the decrease in her work efforts. When I marry my billionaire heiress, well, let’s just say, I shall miss you all. But I’ll send you postcards from the summer mansion in San Remo. I admire people who work even when they don’t have to, I just don’t intend to be like them. Put me in the camp with Ginta Lapina. Please. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: La Senza

Sylvie Meis Selfie Models Her Spring Lacy and Silky Lingerie Collection

Our favorite Dutch lingerie model, the veteran hot MILFtastic Sylvie Meis celebrated the launch of her new signature Spring lingerie line for Hunkemoeller by taking a bunch of selfies style candids in her black lacy bits of stockings and panties. As far as sales pitches go, I’d have to put this right near the top. Hmm, hot dutch blonde in silky nothings smiling and playing for the camera. Yep, I’ve determined I don’t care what she’s selling, I’m buying, in bulk.

Sylvie became single from the dude who divorced her because she couldn’t give him any more offspring after her cancer survival. Seems a bit shallow. Even more shallow than my below the belt spring has sprung affection for Sylvie and that ridiculously hot body of hers. I often reveal my desire to make many babies with the world’s most sextastic celebrities. With Sylvie, I could settle for the non-reproducing endless days of making the sexy. I would allow this. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: Hunkemoeller

What Became of Jenna Miles, Sextastic Internet Girl Next Door?

Editor’s Note: some or all of the media previously associated with this post has been modified or removed.

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I don’t know exactly. But EgoReader ‘Jeremy’ asked me so I’m asking you. A couple years ago Jenna Miles burst onto the YouTube/Social Media heartbreaking scene with numerous crazy hot brunette sweetheart covered topless pictorials and visual displays of wonderment. Websites, tumblr accounts, all the works. Then, poof. It was like lightning in a bottle. I hope the reasons for her absence are of the administrative or casual decision nature only. But I offered to help out Jeremy in his quest. I mean, just look at Jenna Miles.

Egotastic! team of human bloodhounds with excessively sensitive senses when it comes to hot women — engage!

Photo Credit: What Used to be JennaMiles site

Britt Maren Tiny Bikinis for Nasty Gal

I’ve only been ogling Texas hottie V.S. model Britt Maren for a couple years now, but I feel like I’ve known her body for forever. She has that kind of sextastic body appeal that stirs the primal forces of male and Sapphic leaning female nature. As evidence, not her latest bikini work for Nasty Gal, that company with the silly name that keeps making billions. Oh, how Britt shines and pimps and promotes with those natural born assets of hers.

Most certainly if I were Christian Grey I’d take Britt into my dungeon and make her eat a few cheeseburgers while I spanked her with a feather pillow, mostly just for effect. I’d fatten her up a bit before we scheduled any making of the many babies. But Britt in a bikini, that’s a lanky long and lean pleasure I could certainly indulge in from the get-go. Meaning now, as in, Britt, check your Twitter DMs, I’m sending you a picture of a single tear drop on a panda’s cheek. It’s impossible to resist, even though it has no connection to what I’ll be asking of you. You are so damn hot. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: Nasty Gal

Holly Peers Topless Thong Clad Curves of Glory for Zoo

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Holly Peers, how I have missed you. I imagine the feeling is mutual. Though that might just be imagining. Most importantly, the peerless puppies of this delightful DD Brit are back and curvy perfect in Zoo magazine, one of the last remaining lads magazines in all of the Empire.

Holly was one of the very first busty topless glamour girls we ever fell in lust with. She’s simply outrageously hot, which helps, and her melons of pure joy are more than the hair of the dog that bit your bobos, she’s downright anatomically inspiring. There’s nothing you can’t do if you keep your eye on the prize, err, prizes. Personally, I might hit the gym. Mostly watch a little TV and drink one of those energy drinks. It’s really more of a club. Holly, check your email, I’m sending selfies of my curls. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: Zoo Magazine