Oh, you crazy Jenner girls, and Kardashian girls, and Cara Delevingne, how you do love to get noticed when you hit the town and the hotspots and all the places I’m sure are bars but somehow still let teen celebrity girls carouse provided they are dressed much older.
Kylie Jenner in a pair of shorts so tight they might get everybody arrested led the pack, along with model sister Kendall Jenner showing off her long model legs, Khloe Kardashian flashing her Funions to the greatest extent possible, and Cara Delevingne just looking fashionably hot and waiting to see what girl she’d be taking home tonight. This gaggle of girls is quite different from the motley crew I typically hit the town with. For one, the Kardashians rolls with much greater skin shows. Also, a pack of paparazzi ten deep and ten wide. They’re like a rolling Vegas revue. Legs, buns, ta-ta’s, it’s all there in a line. You simply can’t miss this show. Enjoy.
Photo Credit: FameFlynet/INF/PacificCoastNews/Splash
Let’s be honest. I’m never going to share my deep feelings. For one thing, I’m a man. Technically, I have no feelings. And if I did, I’d bury them somewhere obscure where nobody would ever find them. Like a resort town in Minnesota or a politicians truth jar. But I am more than willing to share with you my life’s work and love, incredibly hot celebrity woman just being all they can be on videos I’m watching. Usually with few clothes on. That does seem to be a common denominator.
In this week’s edition of Hey, Bill, Watcha Watching?, I share the videos I’ve been checking out today while naturally not wanting to miss a second of the Masters. You know what they say about golf, you miss a minute you miss a couple guys walking and talking to their help. This week’s roundup includes a very naughty Kylie Jenner putting her hand down sister Kendall Jenner’s pants, Kate Upton behind the scenes of one cleavetastic swimsuit shoot, Candice Swanepoel covered topless and pimping the juice, and Rosie Huntington-Whiteley flashing fun times in her see-through top on the runway. I would take any one of these women to be my third wife, assuming we had a prenup that kept me in indie beer after our second weekend split. Enjoy.
Imagine the pressure of being high school dropout with camera following you everywhere. It’s one thing to have your days free, it’s another when thirty guys with telephotos are going to be visually documenting your every daily move. For one, you can never leave home frumpy. You’re a budding sex symbol, or perhaps fully budded, with millions of girls and not so few guys tracking your every boob, err, every move.
Kylie Jenner doesn’t just go out shopping during days, she gets decked out in skin revealing outfits to go shopping. When you’re a famous teen, you can’t do the hoodie and sweats. It’s tight denim and asstastic hugging skirts. If most moms would yell at their daughters about what they’re wearing out, it’s just right for Kylie. As evil as Kris Jenner may be, let’s give her this one, she’s responsible for tons of alluring and skin revealing shots of her girls about town these past many years. She’s putting on a show, it’s free, and you’re encouraged to ogle. There’s some nugget of benevolence in that cynicism somewhere. Enjoy.
Photo Credit: FameFlynet
The gorgeous scion of the Kardashian/Jenner clan, Kylie Jenner, decided to try on some swimsuits on a balcony in Hollywood. Sure, she could have gone to a changing room or just gone inside, but why do that when you can share the gift of your gargantuan boobage with the world. I do so like ta-tas al fresco. I’ve said before that Kylie is my favorite member of this family of hotties. I think she’s effing hot as hell. Sure, she doesn’t have the booty of the magnitude of Kim or Khloe but that’s OK. She’s still got a tremendous caboose. Frankly, I wouldn’t know what to do with a butt like Kim’s. Put a drink on it? Rest my head on it like a pillow?
No, I prefer Kylie’s smaller but still huge attributes. I am a man of simple needs.
Photo Credit: AKM-GSI
Kylie Jenner was in London using her still not quite legal chestal inheritances to pimp the Nip+Fab brand. Now, I know what you’re thinking, Nip+Fab sounds like a product I myself might be pushing on the market. Alas, it’s some kind of expensive skincare treatment which I suppose is incredibly more effective than the last thousand or so pushed to women in the past several decades. Either way, you have to give it scoreboard points for name, not to mention Kylie Jenner super busty and cleavy at seventeen demanding you purchase a few quarts.
The Kylie Jenner train has clearly left the station. Her present look along with the now public admission of her romantic relationship with the rapper Tyga sort of puts her in the not a girl, not yet a woman, but kind of a woman category. So awkward when you skip high school to live like an adult but everybody still calls you a girl. After this decked out reveal, I doubt she’ll be getting too many tween assignments any longer. We are only but a few months away from something more revealing I quite assure you. Enjoy.
Photo Credit: FameFlynet
It’s time. This is always our main social candid event of the week. The time when we bring out the big guns of the boobtastic self-published variety. When Tinsel Town ego meets Egotastic in one divine summarial roundup of the social media candids. It is hardly wavering, it is epically growing, I could not be a more pleased man. Flip through these photos and follow me into deep passion. I mean don’t follow me directly, wait like an hour please.
This week’s Sextastic Twitpic Roundup includes Kylie Jenner showing off her teenaged tubes, Olivia Munn cleavetastic with puppies, Tara Reid covering her barest of essentuals, Selena Gomez cleavage, Kendall Jenner in a bikini, and much much more. You owe it to the ghosts of the Chuck E. Cheese Inedible Pizza Bowl to check out each and every one of these wicked hot and revealing celebrity shared candids. Enjoy.
Photo Credit: Twitter/Instagram
Welcome to the New Year. I’m not going to pretend that any of us are as excited to be here as Kylie Jenner who’s made up everything took to Instagram to ring in the New Year. As you know, I’ve predicted a monumental year for the youngest Kardashian daughter, something that will come to shock and awe us all. And she won’t be the only one. 2015 is going to be the biggest year in celebrity hotness yet. I can feel it in my bones. Also, I believe the Farmer’s Almanac and Nostradamus both predicted so.
If a teen reality star and her new nipple ring aren’t a solid omen of good things to come, I’m not sure what is. Two little birds on the doorstep is nice and all, but they might just be rabid. I’ll take the Jenner in the tight top. Welcome to 2015. Strap on your safety belts and lay down the plastic sheets. This is going to be good. Enjoy.
Photo credit: Instagram