Egotastic
Up front let me say, I have no idea who half of the kid-land starlets of today are exactly. It's not exactly as if I'm perusing Nick shows during 'tween hour to get in solid chunks of laugh-track backed junior high comedies. However, my young concubine, the delightful Inez P. Minge, spends most of her days eating bulk licorice and watching Victorious, etc, so I got a bit of the insider's scoop.
At this weekend's Kids' Choice Awards Show, where essentially 12-year old girls pass judgement on what constitutes talent, the usual cast of celebrity characters made their marquee mark on the red carpet and on the stage, and, let's be honest, if 12-year old girls ran the world, we'd be in a shitload of trouble.
Still, the gathering was call to bring together a bunch of Hollywood hotties, young, and a bit older, all dressed in G-rated frocks that showed a lot of leg, but no cleavage, like lip gloss ad girls, cute, but without a hint of sexuality. Included among them were Katy Cocktease, whose team of publicists insist that she's happy, so she must be, Selena Gomez, who can't ever not look hot, Halston Sage, some young sextastic blonde with a made-up name form the Nick stable (and one of the few above 18 in the lineup, so we can actually officially call her 'hot), Ariana Grande, Heidi Klum, Victoria Justice, Ashley Tisdale, and a bevy of other farm system young model-actress types bursting at the teen seems to breakout into famous starlets. A fine mix of innocent with 'just discovered their naughty side' made for a fun evening. Enjoy.
Jessica Alba, Katy Perry, and Selena Gomez Highlight the Innocent Hotness at the Kid’s Choice Awards
There's a reason we don't let tweens vote, or drive, or have money, or, in the modern world, have children of their own. They make some bad decisions. Yes, with adults coming in a close second no doubt in terms of taste. But middle schoolers, wow, they really have some floundering taste. When Nickelodeon lets the kids decide each year to pass out awards to their favorite celebrities, you can count on two things -- first, a bunch of kids from the teen TV machines will be dressed shiny and innocent to accept awards, and, second, Katy Perry will be showing some cleavage. (Oh, also, the least fat Kardashian sister will be in attendance, which, actually turned out to be Khloe this year, of all unexpected surprises.)
Still, the hotties do show up, teens and former teen stars alike, including hot mom Jessica Alba, the aforementioned Katy Cocktease, Selena Gomez pretending she isn't in the very raunchy Spring Breakers out in theaters, Bella Thorne, Debby Ryan, and a bunch more. All looking their cutesy best for the kids. I'm sure somebody got slimed. Oh, boy. Enjoy.
THE 2012 KIDS CHOICE AWARDS BROUGHT OUT SIMILAR HOTNESS