Hayden Panettiere. That little minx just keeps on minxing it up. Over the weekend flashing her bikini body, her relatively new boobs, and her very new engagement ring, and now featured in Glamour magazine, a journal for women that your intrepid reporter might have just ‘borrowed’ from Dana’s Nails down on the Boulevard.
And, of course, without being overtly naughty, Hayden manages to remind everybody that she’s just about the most alluring damn thing under 5’2″ on this planet. She’s hard to shake that Hayden Panettiere, so I’ve given up trying. Enjoy.
We’ve recently discussed how great Kate Hudson is looking once more, especially for a rock band groupie who’s had her fair share of back stage flings and babies produced therein.
Now Kate is on the cover of Glamour magazine, which you don’t get, but I pluck from the doorstep of my pied-à-terre each month as the neighborhood middle school ruffians mock my sexuality, so that I can bring the best of the women’s magazines to you. It’s a thankless job, also a pretty crappy paying job, but I wouldn’t want it any other way. Not when we can share in the delights of a braless Kate Hudson along with an article that I’m sure explains some female important stuff like how Kate is getting along being a mommy in a blended family, how to stay in-shape as a working mom, and, naturally, issues related to cramping and bloating around the cycle.
If I was you, I’d stick to the pictures. Enjoy.
You know, we have to officially wait til a girl turns eighteen before we can officially comment on her looks, because while it’s perfectly legal to do so beforehand, the thought police who patrol the Interwebs and love to write emails, will bombard our accounts with letters of pearl-clutching shrillness, decrying how we can call a seventeen year old girl model-hot or a future hottie or such. Because god knows, there’s no dudes in her senior class at high school making far cruder comments about her appearance and how it makes them feel.
Nevertheless, we abide by certain standards, most of the time, including holding back more grown up discussions of Dakota Fanning, the popular child move star now matured into a barely legal young woman and looking rather alluring in the upcoming edition of Glamour magazine. Now, eighteen doesn’t give us license to suddenly start declaring how badly we’d like to cover Dakota in Marmite and play Southern Hemispheric explorer or just announce aloud that we’d like to plant our flag deep in the lush riverbed of Dakota Valley. No, that would be just as wrong this year as last. We are gentlemen after all.
So, while we ogle Dakota in perhaps her finest looking poses ever, we shall respectfully offer up a ‘cute’ and ‘doesn’t she look terrific’, to maintain proper decorum, you know, even as we suppress thoughts of playing a wax paper and comb harmonica on her… oh, man, we really need to learn some self-control. Enjoy.
Apparently, the on-again off-again teen romance between our belusted Selena Gomez and The Devil’s Midget is off-again, as the Selena was spotted end of last week ditching her teen lesbian girlfriend at a restaurant before the first course was served. We can only hope Satan Jr’s powers over the Latina diva continue to dwindle and our brunette baby makes her way free and clear of the world’s smallest biggest douche. Just check out Selena Gomez hotness in the December issue of Glamour and you’ll understand why we and the rest of the world believes she has a few more options than a mini-Ken Doll meets spoiled tween girl.
Selena is growing up to be a petite bit of womanly sextastic that deserves something far greater than a cry-baby with access to capital, she needs a real man, I think I know who we’re talking about her. Call me, Selena. I’m in the book under ‘Major Rebound Mistakes’. Enjoy.
While rumored reports of the never-ending pending breakup of our belusted Selena Gomez and her teenaged lesbian boyfriend always makes us feel warm and fuzzy inside, supremely hot pictures of our little Latina diva make us feel warm and prickly on the outside, such as the rush of blood we’re currently experiencing seeing cleavetastic photos of Selena on the pages of the December issue of Glamour magazine.
To say we have a crush on Selena Gomez is to say that Cookie Monster would like to food-bang Mrs. Fields, it fills every part of our being, so much so that we are completely willing to overlook The Devil’s Midget having been there before us and just focus on the forward looking adventures we’d like to have with this little minxy brunette. Enjoy.
Granted, most junior high schools girl these days dress and act more sexually mature than pop superstar Taylor Swift, who seems prepared to go through her entire 20′s in the mode of the girl who nailed the Chastity Class final exam to take home the intact hymen prize. (And, yes, the hairbrush in the locked bathroom still remains a free pass, this is the 21st century, natch.)
Nevertheless, there’s something alluring about this innocent singer-songwriter who spends her time penning doleful tunes about how her largely effeminate celebrity ex-boyfriends have wronged her in some manner that would only make sense to a girl writing in her Hello Kitty personal journal. We can’t shake it, and these photos of Taylor in Glamour magazine, despite being more than fully clothed, aren’t really helping. Ince again, we can only imagine getting her out back of the Tastee-Freez and more closely examining her Chastity Class final exam prize. Enjoy.
We saw the behind the scenes from this photoshoot earlier this week (always more fun), now, the final result of all that hard work and wardrobe changes we truly wished we’d been able to peep, Emma Watson on the cover of Glamour magazine for October.
We have a special obsession for the minxy British thespianic, ever since the first Harry Potter movie, when our love was so forbidden until the last when we were desperately searching for any signs of screen cap skin, we’ve imagined this sweet hot young woman manually maneuvering our wands. I can’t imagine our lust ever waning, even when she’s wearing way too many clothes. Enjoy.