So Fat, You Can’t Get Laid? Then You Need the Kitchen Safe

Different people have different reasons for wanting to shed a few pounds. For most people, it's to improve their overall health. For most girls, it's save themselves from pre-conceived shame when they hit the beach this summer in their bikinis (let's hope they're as skimpy as the ones Suzanne Quastlikes to wear).

For most guys, it's to get laid.

Being on the receiving end of a pity f'ck just sucks. It probably feels great during, but you'll forever feel the anxiety of wondering when or if you'll ever get it again. If you've got a huge sweet tooth, then here's one kitchen addition that can help wean you off sweets and other fattening treats forcibly: the Kitchen Safe.

It looks like a typical cookie jar, but its cover is what makes all the difference. The lid has a timer attached to it that seals the jar for the duration of the time that you've set. You can set it to open every hour or so until you get your addiction in control. Then it's time to hit the gym and lift those weights to get rid of the fat so you can put a stop to your dry spell already.

Back It: $29