Selena Gomez Not Pregnant and Singing Her Sexy Heart Out in Santa Monica

Rumors of her insemination by The Devil's Midget may be vastly unfounded; and, considering we started them, we should know. But there's no denying that at eighteen Selena Gomez and her bubble gum pop hotness are just beginning to preview what will likely be a decade of uber-hotness to come from this young and sexy Disney factory girl. We've lusted for Selena Gomez long before we were even morally justified to imagine her nekkid and covered in tapioca pudding on our bear skin carpet slowly crooning the theme song to Scooby Doo (you've had that dream too, right?), but, now, our little girl is getting all grown up, suffering the slings and tiny pointed arrows of bad boyfriend mistakes, and eventually, blossoming into a sextastic flower that will cause men (and some of you leering ladies) to stop and stare and pretend that you're going to see her upcoming film, Monte Carlo. Enjoy.