Sean Penn and Charlize Theron Make It Official

If Charlize Theron's engagement can teach us anything, it's that family isn't bound by rigid construct. Sometimes it's a roided out short guy, you, and the cute baby you bought at the Gaborone Duty Free because they were out of Beefeaters. Family is where the love is. Until dad's HGH goes into a mud pie and he packs that cute toddler into a Boxes Etc 24x24, labels it Ebola Land and tosses it out of his moving Ranchero in front of the post office. Better hope you can run on this blackjacked knees, Charlize. You know Sean forgets air holes when he's in a mood. African baby or abusive old husband. You've got to give one of them back.

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