Lex Jurgen - May 5, 2016
Rumer Willis claims Vanity Fair Photoshopped her jaw to several evolution iterations past Cro-Magnon. Willis posted the previously unseen photo to Instagram then asked everybody to please remove it from their accounts. Somebody got into mom's Whip-Its.
Any friends of fans of mine who posted this I would appreciate if you took it down,The photographer Photoshopped my face to make my jaw smaller and I find it really offensive for anyone to try and change the way you look so drastically. I love the way I look and I won't support anyone who would feel a need to change the way I look to make me beautiful. Whether or not they realize it, it is a form of bullying, which I won't stand for.
Most everyone agreed that Willis was beautiful the way she was. Though they quickly downloaded the streamlined features photo so they could masturbate without Hudson Hawk popping into their forebrain. A few people who had been badly beaten in school by bullies protested Willis' appropriation of the term bullying in relation to touching up her photo, but fuck them for not understanding true victimization.
Vanity Fair quickly noted that the picture wasn't Photoshopped to reduce Willis' stern jawline, but was shot from a wide angle lens which gave all the sisters in the picture a narrowed look. Sounds like bullshit, but you have to applaud the photography jargon excuse.
Our intention was to capture the special bond between Rumer and her sisters. It saddens us that Rumer feels the way she does about the image and hope she understands that there was never any intention with it to alter her appearance.
Though you do alter the appearance of every woman who appears in your magazine. I've seen Lena Dunham twice and not vomited. You're doing something voodoo.
The best part about being the kid of movie stars is you get to be rich and good looking. It probably sucks to learn you're just rich. All the same, consider that the dude they just buried in a sub-basement somewhere who was tasked with making you look a little less like Lee Marvin was only trying to help. You learned how to dance. Your sisters are lazy drunks. Consider yourself a relative success and commence a five year vacation on a remote island where the bullies can't find you. Unless they spot your jaw on Google Earth. Invest in a veil.
Photo credit: Rumer Willis/Instagram
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