Prince Bill Macking With the Cocker Instead of Banging the Regal Beagle (VIDEO)

At this rate, we're never going to see any royal offspring.

As you know, and as MI-5 has been previously alerted, it is my intention to someday soon, charge the gates of the palace and borrow Kate Middleton from her tower keep and spend approximately 4-7 years making her repeatedly with child by sheer force of royal booting loving. And this might just be a good thing.

Over the weekend, following his polo tournament ('nuff said), Prince William ran to the sidelines where his hot brunette Duchess wife sat in her tight jeans and made straight for the royal Cocker-Spaniel for a big smoochie smoochie, completely ignoring his babe-wife. At this rate, let's be honest, even a bastard Egotastic! baby is a technical heir. The kingdom needs me. And I stand firmly at the ready! Enjoy.