Sam Robeson - October 12, 2017
Anyone questioning the health hazards of chain-smoking at the age of nine needs only to look at Mary-Kate Olsen in these pics from last night's New York Academy of Art's charity art auction. The thirty-one-year-old fashionista appears to be transitioning into Grandmother Willow from Pocahontas, and pairs her bold fall face with an outfit she apparently found in a plastic bag from a homeless fortuneteller's stolen shopping cart. Ever the trendsetter, Olsen will have all aspiring starlets baking their faces in microwaves to look like wise ancient shamans in no time. If Olsen was ever self-conscious about the age difference between her and bazillionaire forty-eight-year-old husband Olivier Sarkozy (pictured below,) she should be relieved to know that the casual passersby will mistake her for the zombified corpse of his great-great-great-grandmother.
Olsen is interestingly one of the few, if not the only, spooky celebrities we've checked out who isn't the product of a plastic surgeon with a sense of whimsy. Tara Reid looks like a mannequin that wasn't put back together correctly and the Jenndashians keep us in the winter spirit by looking like snowmen. But Olsen has foregone plastic surgery, and instead just plain got bitch slapped by Father Time. And childhood stardom. And anorexia. And drugs. Deciding between this and being botched. Hollywood's the best.
Photo Credit: Splash News, Getty Images, Disney
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