Mitch Jablonski - February 14, 2019
It's Valentine's Day which can mean only one thing, Luann De Lesseps is at the beach in a fedora with her dog. Though she's no longer allowed to call herself the Countess since getting remarried, bitch still rocks it like a Countess.
Has Luann considered a new title since the whole debacle? Like maybe she could be The Cuntess, though there's probably a drag performer somewhere with the trademark on that name. Anyway, we're still workshopping it.
Now look, I'm not telling you that you have to like Luann's bikini body or find it attractive in any way, but you've got to admire her for putting it out there at 53. She's all like, "I'm 53 bitches, bring me another cabana boy."
Whatever your stance on the Countess, I think we can all agree that she is at the beach and in a bikini. It's another glorious day on god's green earth and Luann De Lesseps is spending it how we'd all like to spend it: At the beach, with our dog, in a fedora, on the prowl for cabana boys. Ah to be 25 again. Hell, to be 35 again at this point.
Quick, someone catch me, I think I feel the vapors coming on.