Just How Badly is Steam Kicking Your Ass? SteamLeft Has the Answer

You know how it is. Those mothereffin' Steam sales are the scourge of our times. Right up there with Beiber and those share-this-BS-seventy-times-or-that-girl-from-The Ring-will-crawl-out-from-under-your-bed-at-4am-and-eat-your-scrote chain messages you see everywhere on the Interwebs.

It's the sales that get you. They're so frequent, so cheap, and so damn addictive. It's impulse buying at its very worse. You'd rather shave your own pubes with a machete than play Dora the Explorer's Kiddie Craptacular 2014, but it's only 99 cents and you must have it.

Have you ever taken the time to really peruse your Steam library? If you're a veteran of these sales, you really shouldn't. It won't be pretty.

When I got my Vita, I made a solemn vow to collect Platinum trophies for every game I bought for it. This plan soon died on its ass, and my Trophy menu is now a selection of half-finished broken dreams. Dial this situation up by a few million, and you have the contents of many Steamaholics' libraries.

If you want to know how dire your situation really is, take a tip from Destructoid. Last week, they brought us news of SteamLeft, a fancy little site which estimates the time it'd take to finish every game you've accumulated. The ‘toid's own Jordan Devore tried it out and reported,
‘I have an estimated completion time of 2,515 continuous hours, or 104 days, 19 hours, and 33 minutes, which is above average. According to the site, I could alternatively listen to all of R. Kelly's hip hopera "Trapped in the Closet" 1,658 times.'

Stat-tacular!