In India The Monkeys Drive The Buses

I spent a little time in India and I can tell you that the monkeys are friggin' nuts there. It sounds like something someone would make up to make fun of India, but it's true. The monkeys are everywhere and they are constantly causing mischief. They are kind of like the Gremlins only hairy and smelly. They steal things, they break things, they bite people. In other words, they are a giant menace. The other really dangerous thing about India is the traffic. I've never seen anything like it and I live in New York City. It's utter chaos. Now imagine if you combine the two. In the town of Bareilly in Uttar Pradesh the monkeys are stealing buses. Not even cars, friggin' buses. One mischievous little bastard climbed in a bus, turned it on, put it in second gear, hit the gas, and crashed it into two other buses. What an a-hole. He's not even in the union.

The moral of the story is that you need to watch out when monkeys are around. For the good of public safety. Friggin' monkeys.