How ‘Lollipop Chainsaw’ Struck a Scantily-Clad, Miniskirt-ed Blow for Women Everywhere

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chris-littlechild - June 21, 2013

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Anyone that was even slightly conscious in the back of their Gameology class lecture hall knows it: the representation of women in video games is a controversial topic indeed. The can is open, as it were, and there are worms all over the damn floor.

Why do the chests of the ladies of Soul Calibur jiggle as viciously as two sacks full of angry wolverines at their slightest movement? Why does Cammy seem to think that her tiny buttcheek-framing leotard is appropriate attire for a fist-tacular fighting tournament? Why were the chesticles of Lara Croft --gaming's first legitimate ‘action heroine'-- exaggerated so? Because that's simply the way things are done around these parts. If having the ‘sex factor' and still being able to kick all kinds of man-ass is wrong, we don't want to be right.

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It was the ever-demented gaming guru Suda 51, creator of the unhinged Killer 7 and No More Heroes, who showed us the error of our bosomy ways with Lollipop Chainsaw. Except he didn't. But, y'know, work with us here.

On the anniversary of Lollipop Chainsaw's release, we're taking at look at just what the holy hell was going on in this bizarre, retro-infused beat ‘em up. It is, perhaps, a parody of the sexy, ditzy, blonde ‘victim' trope, as seen in horror movies on a fist-shakingly frequent basis. Our protagonist is Juliet Starling, a buxom blonde teenage cheerleader whose high school is beset by a gonad-chomping zombie horde. Does she take a simpering, distressing damsel approach to the whole situation, taking the time to provide lingering shots of her boobtastic before her inevitable disembowelment? She does not. Nuts to that.

Juliet Starling comes from a long line of zombie hunting crazies, and propels herself into battle with all the righteous fury of one of those Viking berserkers who would thunder about the battlefield with their mighty ax a-twirlin' and no pants on. (If memory of high school history serves, many a would-be invader was repelled by the hideous sight of Norse wangs flapping gleefully about the place as nature intended. Intended, but sure as shit didn't want to look at).

Further, she does so with a rocket-powered, bullet firing chainsaw. We don't know how much badass is too much badass, but we must be perilously close here.

Most importantly, her dumbass boyfriend Nick is no use. This is far from a traditional Super Mario rescue-the-feeble-princess story. Here, we have a voluptuous young ‘Mario' in a miniskirt, while ‘Princess Peach' is a severed dude-head (he is murderized by the horde at the end of the tutorial stage).

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It's interesting, then, that the main male character's sole function is to dangle ineffectually from your belt, making shit-tastic wisecracks at every possible opportunity (whilst bouncing off of Juliet's asscheeks with every step she takes). Sure, tongues couldn't be lodged any further in cheeks throughout Lollipop Chainsaw, but a blow was struck for women's equal rights to ass-kickery nonetheless.

On an entirely unrelated topic, there's an achievement/trophy for taking a sneaky ogle up Juliet's skirt.

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