Gaming’s Whacked Out Week: Sure, ‘Smash Bros.’ is TOTALLY Like Having Sex

If there's one thing the Internet has an ample supply of (not sexually-frustrated housewives wanting to show you their cooches in exchange for your credit card details, another thing), it's dickish theories. The global freedom of the interwebs means that any dumbass with fingers can blog about whatever takes their fancy.

You know the sorts of things that kooks need to bring to the planet's attention. The old classic ‘Martians stealing brainwaves' talk on tinfoilhats.com, that cat conspiracy to overthrow us and take over the world... it's all there, and it's all effing nuts.

But this? This is a step too far. This week, Destructoid's Sup Holmes asks Is Smash Bros. Just Like Sex?

Now, we're with you in the ‘slowly building up to an explosive, crazy-ass lightshow finale' sense (well, if you're having your sex right, that is). But elsewhere in Nintendo's toontastic brawler, you'll find all kinds of not sexy.

But it just goes to show, if you want something enough and your horny heart is pure, you can appreciate the sexiness in anything. It's like one of those inspirational after school specials gone x-rated.