GAMING

Could This be the Most Creepy-Ass Guy in Gaming History?

Gallery Icon

chris-littlechild - April 24, 2012

Eternal Darkness: Sanity's Requiem was a stellar survival horror release for the Gamecube. It follows the two thousand year history of those destined to fight the malevolent machinations of the Ancients. These immense alien bastards want control of the planet, and presumably not so they can plant vast flower gardens everywhere and inspire a gigantic world-peace-hippie-orgy. It's more of a War of the Worlds situation, all told.

As such, it's a somewhat pressing issue. I think we can all agree there. Only the Chosen Ones can stop these guys, and as the timeline progresses you will flit between control of twelve individuals. Each of their separate plots slot seamlessly together into the narrative, but are reasonably ass on their own. (You wouldn't eat flour and raw egg, after all. You'd say nuts to that, and wait until it has formed a delicious cake. What a tasty analogy.) Alas, the small concealed rat-turd in this otherwise fantastic confection is Dr. Maximillian Roivas's exploits. You will fear this mad bastard.

Crazy Max was a rich doctor living alone in the mansion he inherited from his father. He had so many servants he scarcely needed to wipe his own ass. As a result, days consisted mostly of stalking about his abode with a pistol and sabre. (Or this is what you do when playing as him. Such are the quirks of ridiculous rich guys with too much time on their hands. Much like Batman, come to think of it. "What have you done today, Mr. Wayne?" "I've attached some little spiky dealies to my gloves that I can fire at bad guys.Right in the face." "Terrific. Don't you have paperwork or something to do, what with that big-ass company you run?""Balls to that, Batman's too awesome for that crap. Although it is my secret identity, so don't tell anyone.Spike in the groinfor you if you do.") Maybe he leapt out on his employees with a demented take that, vile fiend! while waving that weapon of his about with abandon. (Sometimes, he'd use the sword or the gun instead. The saucy devil.) Our medical man/flasher got a shock one day when one of his dedicated servants tried to kill him. The miscreant was easily dispatched, but not before unleashing its trump card. This unexpected move involved dropping its human skin disguise and unleashing the Bonethief concealed within. These vicious buggers resemble Jurassic Park's take on a Velocirator, minus the skin. You can imagine the wtf this caused the already debilitated Roivas.

The creepy result of all this business was a wholesome little scene in which our man, now with his marbles rolling about the place with gleeful abandon, attacks the remaining staff in their quarters in a style popularised by Psycho. His segment in Eternal Darkness ends in an asylum, wailing in a sepulchral tone at the camera, "May the rats eat your eyes! The darkness comes!" The police had apparently heard the An ugly-as-hell red monster jumped out of the human skin it was wearing and tried to claw me right up excuse before, and were having none of it. How wily of them.

To this day, I'm undecided about what exactly was being portrayed here. On the one hand, the game depicted a rag-tag band of heroes, the only people able to see the insidious threat to mankind and ultimately combat it. Another interpretation is that we're witnessing the progress through time of an inbred family, and the kind of loons that result. There's a poignant lesson here, I think: stay away from your cousin, however hot she is. Maximillian Roivas, either way, is one disturbing dude. His autopsies of the creatures he defeats are alarming indeed. ("They lust for flesh... Human flesh! And feast upon all the sweetbreads a man has to offer!") More so when you consider these nightmarish shades could well be figments of his imagination.

Here's some wtf gameplay from Maximillian's portion of Eternal Darkness: Sanity's Requiem:

Article by Chris Littlechild

Like my work? Have feedback? Hit me with your mighty word-fists on Twitter

Tagged in: nintendo ,

Loading...


Comments