Sofia Vergara

Sofia Vergara Pimping Kmart and Flashing Hose and Panties Upskirt

By Bill Swift | October 1, 2012 @ 1:33 am

I've had this odd Sofia Vergara fantasy for some time now and I really need to get it off my chest

I'm a little person. No, I'm not a dwarf, but some type of Martian ray-gun or maybe global warming gases have shrunk me to no more than the size of a thimble -- a thimble I hide under while a seamstress sews the buttockal portion of a Sofia Vergara dress that has ripped asunder by sheer force of mighty cheeks. While the sewing lady has her back turned, I make my move, leaping from the table onto Sofia's lower leg. From there, I ascend her taut gam northward in search of adventure, adventure I find the minute I'm above her hemline, in a magical lands of wonderful textures and smells. Without any hesitation, I continue ascending toward the heavens until, there, I spot it, Sofia Vergara is completely commando, her Colombian delight laid out right before my eyes. This is the point when Sofia feels me poking around her undercrackers, lifts her dress to expose the little man exploring her very personal spaces. She screams. I need to hide, but where? Where? Ah, yes. I plunge into the warm embrace of sanctuary. And I'm not seen or heard from for several weeks thereafter while Sofia wears a permanent smile about town.

Check out the hose-and--panties upskirt Sofia Vergara was flashing over the weekend at a pimping Kmart event and see if you aren't inspired toward your own Vergara imaginary escapades. Enjoy.

SOFIA VERGARA CLEAVAGE ALWAYS CATCHES OUR WANDERING EYES

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Sofia Vergara Is One Fine Looking Forty-Year Old

By Bill Swift | September 26, 2012 @ 2:05 pm

Sofia Vergara Visits 'The Chew' in a Sexy Blue Snake Print Mini Dress in NYC

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I guess today has kind of broken down into a love of ladies from around the equator, and that love of Latina must most definitely include Modern Family actress hottie, Sofia Vergara, who wore tight blue on her way into an appearance on The Chew, which I guess is like The View but with food, but in either case, not intended for me I am quite sure.

Now, I'm not going to mention any names around here, but Lexi in our office says she notices red rug burns on Sofia's knees, implying she had a great time after the Emmy Awards this past weekend, maybe after that dress splitting wardrobe malfunction. But us guys in the office know it's just from bending down in prayer, because we dudes always seek out the innocent answer. Enjoy.

SOFIA VERGARA CLEAVAGE MAKES MODERN FAMILY MUST-OGLE TV

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Sofia Vergara Wardrobe Malfunction Exposes Her G-String Crackalicious at Emmy Awards

By Bill Swift | September 24, 2012 @ 12:53 pm

Sofia Vergara Butt-Crack Exposed at Emmy Awards Backstage

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Hmm, we might not have even known about this glorious functional malfunction from the dress of Sofia Vergara had she not tweeted the images herself. What a gal.

Apparently, the dress could not fully contain the wicked hot veteran thespianic's Colombian booty and split open enough to reveal the butt crack of a goddess, with only the hint of a g-string to provide any hint of modesty. We have to be honest and admit that we hope for a dress rip every time Sofia Vergara shows up in one of her form fitting, curve highlighting gowns; and, honestly, we're not the least bit sorry that we do. Enjoy.

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Christina Hendricks, Kat Dennings, and Sofia Vergara Lead the Hot Cleavage Displays at Primetime Emmy Awards

By Bill Swift | September 24, 2012 @ 8:41 am

Christina Hendricks in a Boobtastic Dress at the 64th Primetime Emmy Awards

Alexandra Breckenridge Black Dress Upskirt at the 64th Primetime Emmy Awards

Heidi Klum Flashes Cleavage and Legs at the 64th Primetime Emmy Awards

Sofia Vergara Shows Curves at the 64th Primetime Emmy Awards

Kat Dennings Shows Red Hot Cleavage at the 64th Primetime Emmy Awards

Julianne Hough Shines at the 64th Primetime Emmy Awards

Hayden Panettiere Looks Exotic at the Primetime Emmy Awards 2012

Padma Lakshmi in a Cleavy Orange Dress at the 64th Primetime Emmy Awards

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I'll say this for non-boob showing television shows, their ladies love to show cleavage during award season for their medium. The million dollar mammaries could not be contained at this weekend's Primetime Emmy Awards, where scores of hotties came decked out in low cut top, or just looking mighty fine, boob tube fantastics such as Christina Hendricks, Kat Dennings, Heidi Klum, Padma Lakshmi, January Jones, Sofia Vergara, Alexandra Breckenridge, Hayden Panettiere, Julianne Hough, Julie Bowen, Zooey Deschanel, and Claire Danes.

Yes, it was an evening filled with Hollywood patting itself on the back. But a day today for us to remember the best of Hollywood's front side. Enjoy.

PAST EMMY AWARDS HAVE BROUGHT OUT THE SUPER GAGGLE OF HOTTIES

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Sofia Vergara Sultry Sextastic Behind the Scenes of Her Allure Photoshoot

By Bill Swift | August 9, 2012 @ 1:00 pm

Sofia Vergara Sexy BTS Shoot in Allure Magazine September 2012

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We do so dig Sofia Vergara. And that is well before we found out she is perhaps the highest paid girl-thesp on television ($25 million or so last year in take home pay). We lust Sofia for much deeper traits, like how deeply we feel a tingle when we set her in come-hither poses is in her photoshoot for the September issue of Allure.

So many sextastic celebrities in this world, but at 40, Sofia Vergara still very much has that extra oomph that puts in her gold medal level contention. Oh, how we'd like to play with that oomph of hers. Enjoy.

SOFIA VERGARA HAS THE BOOBS OF AN ANGEL (HOW WE IMAGINE ANGELS)

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Sofia Vergara Is Officially Forty and Fully Faptastic in Black Lingerie for Esquire

By Bill Swift | July 16, 2012 @ 11:11 am

Sofia Vergara Sexy Photoshoot in Esquire

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If Sofia Vergara were a superhero, her super power would be the ability to simultaneously re-direct the internal blood flow of tens of millions of adult males simultaneously. So, in short, Sofia Vergara is a superhero.

The hot Colombian actress' black lingerie pictorial for Esquire magazine is simply stunning, or, if stunning had a hotter, looser cousin who like to do shots and fall nekkid onto your bed and beg you to do naughty things with her, she'd be simply that. This hot thespianic model just turned 40 and there are zero signs of slowing down. Enjoy.

I'D LIKE TO SMOTHER MYSELF IN A DOUBLE HEAPING OF VERGARA CLEAVETASTIC

Sofia Vergara at the 50 Most Beautiful People Event

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Sofia Vergara Sexy Black Sizzler in Vanity Fair Spain

By Bill Swift | July 4, 2012 @ 10:53 am

Sofia Vergara Photoshoot in Vanity Fair Spain July 2012

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As if we needed more ammunition on the fire of all-things-Colombia-female-are-super-hot, along comes Sofia Vergara in her photo pictorial in Vanity Fair Spain this month showing off why just a week shy of 40 years of age, the Modern Family TV star continues to be one of the single most scorching females on the face of this planet.

The powerful thing about Sofia Vergara is that women want to be her and men want to be with her, and also with the women that want to be her, kind of like a Sofia Vergara fan club orgy. Mostly now I'm speaking personally for this man. Enjoy.