Sofia Vergara

Sofia Vergara Booty Isn’t a House, It’s a Home

Sometimes you see a hot woman with a crazy curvy bottom and you just want to run through your list or terribly delightful things you'd like to do with a full jar of honey and an entire afternoon of unbooked time. Other times you know you just want to move in for good. Sofia Vergara flashed her candied yam cheeks in purple stretch pants that might as well have had a realtor signed attached looking for oglers to nest for a decade or two. Just so sweet and round and perfectly plump.

Blessed stretch pants giveth, and rarely ever taketh away. Let us not forsake the yoga pants craze or it may go away, and along with it, a casually amazing view of the keesster of sultry hot Sofia Vergara. Then I would be sad. Like a child who has lost his favorite toy. For that is what will have passed. Enjoy.

Isla Fisher, Sofia Vergara, Amy Adams, And Other Hotties at the 2014 SAG Awards

While you were watching football, there were about a half dozen more Hollywood Award shows. In the very least, guys get to spread their tux costs across numerous appearances I suppose. And, far more importantly, we get to see our sextastic ladies of celebrity strutting their finest wares on the crimson carpet. It truly is the great upside to this season of self-congratulations.

Thespianics take the SAG Awards quite seriously as that is the Guild of your theatrical types. It's their own cohorts voting on who among them emotes the finest, and everybody who is anybody in the acting world attends, including, most leer-worthy, ginger hottie Isla Fisher, her ginger peer Amy Adams, Sofia Vergara who never doesn't look outrageously hot on the carpet, Ariel Winter rather busty, Morena Baccarin so fine, Maria Menounos ever delicious, and Michelle Dockery, slender but spectacular. Then a bunch of awards were handed out, agents were thanked, and people who cry for a living cried. It was special. Enjoy.

Sofia Vergara Wins the Golden Globes Boobtastic After-Party Awards

Talk about your golden globes, Sofia Vergara has them right here. Sofia easily could have been named the hottie d'jour on the red carpet of the 2014 Golden Globes last night. What she did at the after-party was simply make it a no doubter. Albeit, the lovely likes of Miranda Kerr, Taylor Swift, and a cleavetastic Vanessa Hudgens made a play for the gold medal, nobody was able to keep abreast, as it were, with Sofia and her low cut shiny gown.

At next year's Golden Globes, I hope Sofia sits at my table. I mean, the table I'm assigned to pour water and refill wine glasses. I'm quite certain I would be pouring from her right, even as my left was wandering. Just so damn hot! Enjoy.

Sofia Vergara Cleavetastic In Her Little Red Showy Dress in GQ

Sofia Vergara is so teasy veteran hot, I want to climb through the pages of this month's GQ India and just, well, let her know I've been climbing through pages to see her. Maybe ask her for a little peck on the cheek or a bigger peck somewhere else. She's just all kinds of teasy fun bedroom kitten hot. Like a sultry siren of the domestic lands for whom you'd gladly crash your ship for but a moment of gazing upon her femme fatale form.

I can think of many alluring things in this world, but Sofia Vergara in a little red dress and come hither smiles? Well, that's very tough to beat. Enjoy.

Sofia Vergara Plus Leather Pants Equals Happiness

Well, it was Modern Family Appreciation Day in Los Angeles, and what more to appreciate about Modern Family than the super fine veteran asstastic of Sofia Vergara. How much happiness has she brought to your life in the past half-dozen years? I want to see her some flowers or a Starbucks gift card or maybe part of my left ear to show my appreciation.

Sofia Vergara showing up in tight leather pants was a big thank you to all of her fans, and to all of us gentleman oglers who could probably sketch her booty in charcoal on paper with our eyes closed. I'm pretty sure I could nail it within plus or minus two centimeters. I'd probably go plus. That booty could only be finer by busting bigger. Enjoy.

‘Machete Kills’ Has a New Ad on Your TV (VIDEO)

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Incase you've missed the barrage of clips involving boobs and blood promoting Robert Rodriguez's Machete Kills, there's a new ad for the film airing on television. But in addition to boobs and blood, this clip also has a boat.

It just keeps getting better and better.

Machete Kills stars Danny Trejo as the titular blade-wielding super spy who must stop a madman with a nuclear bomb (Mel Gibson) from destroying Washington, D.C. However, Madame Desdemona (Sofia Vergara) and a group of would-be female assassins stands in his way. Also, these women are really hot, and they have guns on their breasts and crotches, which might seem a tad juvenile, but is actually some profoundly insightful satire if you stop and think about it. OK, no it's not.

Machete Kills hits theaters next week.

Alexa Vega, Sofia Vergara, and Paris Hilton Lead List of Hotties at Machete Kills Premiere

I'm quite nervous about Machete Kills. It seems like a movie I should absolutely positively effin' love, which always makes me nervous about suffering disappointment. Beneath my obviously unmatchably masculine exterior lies a tender heart of an oft-wounded boy. I'm not sure I could handle this movie sucking.

And how can hopes not be high with the stellar sextastic cast involved, including several Latina hotties who showed up to last night's movie premiere, including notably Alexa Vega and Sofia Vergara. Both play fine body exhibiting roles in this Spanish shlock fest. All the more reason I can not contain my enthusiasm. This better not be a big fall. Enjoy.