It’s hard to imagine Billionaire Barbie and Sarah Hyland have much in common. But both were working the shizz out of the Sin City club openings this past weekend, flashing cleavage and waving hello to the suckers who came to plunk their money down in the hopes of, well, probably taking home Billionaire Barbie or Sarah Hyland. Not for the cover charge, my misguided friend.
Paris has done a million of these Vegas party hosting gigs, literally probably a million. But this seemed like fresh territory for Sarah Hyland who has never played up a party lifestyle in any manner. Just plain old fashion being hot. She may not have Barbie’s experience or glad handling and pushed up boobtastic skills, but she makes up for it in the petite hottie come to my party I’m shy kind of way. I do so like that. But I’m still not going to your club. I have standards, unless you have good financing options on your cocktails. Enjoy.
Photo Credit: FameFlynet
Just when you thought it was safe to go in the hipster waters, Coachella Part Deux took place over the weekend out in the California desert, inviting back tens of thousand of wristbanders along with another slough of sextastic celebrities spending tons of dough to look like second hand store shopping hippies. It might be somewhat irksome were it no for the cleavetastic bits of exhibition put on by the same lovely ladies, including Kelly Brook who was flashing so much wonderful cabbage I thought she might just spill out. That may have been reaching too close to the sun.
Kelly was joined by Diane Kruger and Paris Hilton and Nina Dobrev and others desperately trying to look Bohemian because I don’t really know why. I guess I didn’t get the memo. I never get the memo. But I do notice trends in the world of ta-ta’s, and clearly skin was in this Coachella weekend. I guess there was probably some music too, though in the VIP area I think everybody was listening to their favorite house music on their ear buds. Funbags make everything better. Enjoy.
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Hall of fame hottie Paris Hilton hit the town in a see-through dress. You know, like you do. The dress looks like the doilies that my grandmother used to put on her side tables. The result is that you could see plenty of skin through the holes. Paris has got an amazing body, as anyone who has ever seen a certain video can attest. She’s kept it tight all these years later. In fact, I think Paris is even hotter now. Time has given her an air of maturity or something. What I do know is that Paris being scantily clad is like a universal constant. Much like gravity will always pull things towards the Earth, Paris will dress in skimpy outfits.
Paris was recently in my mother land of Cuba, probably trying to seize back the Havana Hilton. That or she wanted to lie on a beach and drink rum.
Photo Credit: PacificCoastNews
Oh, Paris Hilton! Always up to some wacky sexy shenanigans. Today she’s wearing a sultry see-through white dress. You can see her lovely bare-midriff underneath. Paris has always been in pretty good shape since back in the day when she…um…starred in a famous home movie. Since then I’ve been a fan of her small but perky boobies. Who says that only big mammoth ta-tas should get love? A nice pair of perkies can brighten your day just the same way. The main feature of this outfit is that you can see those long lovely Paris Hilton legs. Paris is tall which makes the leg show go on for days.
I’m not really sure what Paris does with all her time but I do know that she’s a professional at getting my pressure up.
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What I know about fashion can be summed up in three words: Target Gift Cards. But I’m pretty sure when you buy a designer dress that costs several months rent money for most people, it shouldn’t show off your white panties underneath. Or maybe it should. That could be the expensive style.
Either way, the blue number did its work supporting Billionaire Barbie into New York Fashion Week with the most heaving of bosoms we’ve seen to date from the lithesome heiress. It’s possible there was some work done, or maybe just engineering feats of new bra technology. They do seem to engage in tremendous scientific discoveries in that particular undergarment area. Suffice it to say, Paris got her share of desired looks, not even including the men like me inspecting her panties. She never travels alone you might say. Ready to wear. Enjoy.
Photo Credit: INF/Splash
A lot has been made recently about Billionaire Barbie perhaps getting some 90210 work done on her chestal region. Paris has always been known for having a rather moderate sized chest though always coming through by hook or crook or special bra with some ample amounts of cleavage. Some of her more recent social media pictures might lead one to believe she’s taken it upon herself to inflate her bosom for more titillating attention. But has she?
In the name of funbag science, we’ve put together a gallery of some of Billionaire Barbie’s more cleavy appearances in the past several years for you to judge for yourself. Or, in the least, have much fun researching. These are indeed the important issues of our time. Let us ogle them thusly. Enjoy.
Photo Credit: Instagram/Egotastic Archives
Billionaire Barbie has been busy and she’s sharing the best views of her self on Instragram, just to be sure you don’t miss any of the good parts. And the good parts are clearly on display in what can only be described as a melange of Paris from the past several days. As much as we mock the socialite slash DJ slash perfume pimper, there’s no denying Paris makes sure she looks rather stellar in all of her many, ever showy, guises. She may not seek out quite as much attention as a decade ago, but she’s clearly not lost her zeal for public approval.
I’m reviewing these photos and I must say I approve. Enjoy.
Photo Credit: Instagram