Mellisa Clarke might just be my perfect woman. Well, I mean, technically she’s have to have the capability of transforming into a 50-inch flat screen TV with the NFL premium package on Sundays to be perfect, but I’m working with my Tinder counselor to be more lenient in my acceptance of the flaws of my potential mates.
Melissa’s semi-brooding brunette come hither looks and that raw natural animal hot bodied magnetism enhanced every time she removes her top, it’s just the stuff of dreams. At least my dreams many times per evening. The thought of her floating topless in my pool, let alone having a pool in the first place, just icing on the delicious cake that is Mellisa Clarke. Whoomp there it is. We really need bring that back. Enjoy.
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The time has come to put aside our peace pipes for a moment to celebrate the jousting of two jaunty lasses, lovely ladies engaged in the arena of the racktastic, going nipple to nipple in the feverishly hot contest we like to call The Battle of the Boobtastic. There are no losers, only various degrees of wanton lust and epic desire. Such as all conflict should be.
This week’s entries into the mammarial battle zone are the blondishly bodacious Sam Cooke, a veteran of such chest bumps, and Mellisa Clarke, no stranger to sweater puppy street battles of hero own. Two cagy veterans, four deliciously perfect engorged funbags. It’s time for you to decide. Between these two girls I could never ever have, whose ta-ta’s reign supreme?
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How I lust me some Mellisa Clarke. This naughty cutesy a little bith gothy brunette can break my heart with just one smile. With one peeling off of her top, she can damage me much more thoroughly. I’ll take an order of both please. She really does make you feel extra-welcome in her boudoir, little cheeky smiles before reveals of sweet ta-ta’s and taught little cheekies. Oh, my. I feel like I’ve died and gone to faptastic heaven.
Each midweek we celebrate the finest and most squeezable funbags in our mind’s eyes. When at the top of the mountain, why not give a little squeeze Mellisa Clarke would either giggle or beat the tar out of you for trying. Personally, I’d take an order of both once again. So hot. Huzzah!
It’s time for the weekly Battle of the Boobtastic. That moment each week when we celebrate the finest of the funbags by pitting two of them, make that, four of them, against each other in a competition for Funion supremacy. It’s not always civil, but it’s always super hot.
This week’s battle pits the peaches of au natural goth hottie Mellisa Clarke and her brunette bangs against the banging hot body of blonde goddess Nicole Neal. It pains me to think of either of them going home unhappy with the results of a boob judging contest, but judge you must. Making attractive women cry is your sacred duty. So, in your expert opinion, whose ta-ta’s reign supreme?
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I get a happy big full smile on my face just saying the name Mellisa Clarke. When I actually get to see the alt-brunette hottie in her natural nekkid naughty state, that upside down frown spreads over my entire being, body and soul and whatever euphemism I’m using today for Mr. Happy. I guess I’m using Mr. Happy.
On Fridays, we like to start culminating the week with a signature dish of delicious chest puppies that just makes everybody, no matter their circumstance, feel like this is one crazy great world to be living in. It really is. So maybe Mellisa Clarke isn’t your actual girlfriend. In a world where she luckily exists, there’s always still the chance. Also, yeah, you can peek on somebody else’s girlfriend because this is that kind of world too. Thank God It’s Funbags!
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Time for the weekly throwdown showdown when we pluck two perfectly hot glamour models from the world of giving men so very much to see and insist they go melon-a-melon in the Thunderdome of perfect chesty goodness to determine the finest pair of pert puppies for the week. Some have called me mad for running such a heartfelt heartless game of ridiculously hot bodied perfection. But I hear worse daily from my own family, so your words can no longer hurt me.
Today’s Battle of the Boobtastic features the so ever sextastic Nicole Neal and her blonde charms against the most au natural of brunettes in the temptation laden Mellisa Clarke. There are no losers in the Battle of the Boobtastic, just a loser. One girl who must go home and shed the tears of the udderly disappointed. And you must decide whose Fate this shall be today. In your expert opinion, whose ta-ta’s reign supreme?
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It doesn’t really take that much for Mellisa Clarke t o make me super happy. I mean like smile all over kind of pleasant feelings. Just taking off her lacy bra works for me in ways I could never have possibly imagined before puberty, though I subconsciously always anticipated.
The alt-brunette slender natural hottie wonder can do so much without the need for theatrics or complex staging or motifs of any kind besides, I’m hot, I’m topless, and you know you want me but I’m not going to say a word. I might be projecting a bit on that last part, but I have a sneaking suspicion that Mellisa Clarke is a heartbreaker of rather noteworthy proportions. I’d be happy to let her break my heart, if it came after an impassioned round of nekkid Yahtzee. Oh, no, a die rolled under you and now it’s missing. Search party activate. Enjoy.
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