For a while there it was like we had lost a dear friend when it was announced the Page 3 feature of the U.K. Sun was going dark due to thepressure from certain groups who like to complain for a hobby. But the departure was blessedly very short lived as Page 3 has returned with a bang of the boobtastic featuring some of our favorites such as Holly Peers
, Lucy Collet
, and Mellisa Clarke
It’s not that we couldn’t live without Page 3, it’s just that why would we want to? We are adamantly opposed to any forces adamantly opposed to the exhibition of beautiful funbags. There will always be, and there always are, forces at work that seek to censor the full beauty of women. Which is why our work is truly never done. Don’t worry, I had a nap, I’m good for this. Enjoy.
Photo Credit: The Sun
Oh, Sweet Mellisa, how I’ve missed you so. A day, a week, could it be even a month without goth brunette hottie Mellisa Clarke is like an eternity absent and devoid of her simply spectacular sextastic simple charms. Au natural and very little in the way of production is how Mellisa rolls. Myself as well, though nobody’s going to hit the brakes hard to check out my topless lingerie spreads, I mean, not until I have my summer body ready.
On Tuesdays we celebrate the ta-ta’s that make life worth living and eyeballs worth having and the happy tingles Mother Nature ensured when she connected our retinal cones almost directly to our family jewels. Well, played Ms. Nature. And well done once more, Mellisa Clarke. Your body inspires me to be a better man, or, in the least, a man who has given up the hobby of lawn darts in order to spend more time drooling over your photos. It really is far safer and more satisfactory a sport. Enjoy.
Photo Credit: Mellisa Clarke
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Mellisa Clarke might just be my perfect woman. Well, I mean, technically she’s have to have the capability of transforming into a 50-inch flat screen TV with the NFL premium package on Sundays to be perfect, but I’m working with my Tinder counselor to be more lenient in my acceptance of the flaws of my potential mates.
Melissa’s semi-brooding brunette come hither looks and that raw natural animal hot bodied magnetism enhanced every time she removes her top, it’s just the stuff of dreams. At least my dreams many times per evening. The thought of her floating topless in my pool, let alone having a pool in the first place, just icing on the delicious cake that is Mellisa Clarke. Whoomp there it is. We really need bring that back. Enjoy.
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The time has come to put aside our peace pipes for a moment to celebrate the jousting of two jaunty lasses, lovely ladies engaged in the arena of the racktastic, going nipple to nipple in the feverishly hot contest we like to call The Battle of the Boobtastic. There are no losers, only various degrees of wanton lust and epic desire. Such as all conflict should be.
This week’s entries into the mammarial battle zone are the blondishly bodacious Sam Cooke, a veteran of such chest bumps, and Mellisa Clarke, no stranger to sweater puppy street battles of hero own. Two cagy veterans, four deliciously perfect engorged funbags. It’s time for you to decide. Between these two girls I could never ever have, whose ta-ta’s reign supreme?
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How I lust me some Mellisa Clarke. This naughty cutesy a little bith gothy brunette can break my heart with just one smile. With one peeling off of her top, she can damage me much more thoroughly. I’ll take an order of both please. She really does make you feel extra-welcome in her boudoir, little cheeky smiles before reveals of sweet ta-ta’s and taught little cheekies. Oh, my. I feel like I’ve died and gone to faptastic heaven.
Each midweek we celebrate the finest and most squeezable funbags in our mind’s eyes. When at the top of the mountain, why not give a little squeeze Mellisa Clarke would either giggle or beat the tar out of you for trying. Personally, I’d take an order of both once again. So hot. Huzzah!
It’s time for the weekly Battle of the Boobtastic. That moment each week when we celebrate the finest of the funbags by pitting two of them, make that, four of them, against each other in a competition for Funion supremacy. It’s not always civil, but it’s always super hot.
This week’s battle pits the peaches of au natural goth hottie Mellisa Clarke and her brunette bangs against the banging hot body of blonde goddess Nicole Neal. It pains me to think of either of them going home unhappy with the results of a boob judging contest, but judge you must. Making attractive women cry is your sacred duty. So, in your expert opinion, whose ta-ta’s reign supreme?
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I get a happy big full smile on my face just saying the name Mellisa Clarke. When I actually get to see the alt-brunette hottie in her natural nekkid naughty state, that upside down frown spreads over my entire being, body and soul and whatever euphemism I’m using today for Mr. Happy. I guess I’m using Mr. Happy.
On Fridays, we like to start culminating the week with a signature dish of delicious chest puppies that just makes everybody, no matter their circumstance, feel like this is one crazy great world to be living in. It really is. So maybe Mellisa Clarke isn’t your actual girlfriend. In a world where she luckily exists, there’s always still the chance. Also, yeah, you can peek on somebody else’s girlfriend because this is that kind of world too. Thank God It’s Funbags!
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