Kelly Bensimon

Kelly Bensimon Bikini Pictures Holding Up Sextastic and Strong in Miami

I'll say this for Kelly Bensimon, she's one of the few bright spots in that horrific Real Houswives craptastic programming, a woman who at 45, through some combination of natural and unnatural means has managed to keep herself in a bikini body shape many women at 30 would be rather jealous of. I'm rather jealous and I'm not even a woman. I mean, not until I save up far more money for my Swiss hooha.

Like every other celebrity this week, Kelly is down in Miami where the cameras are, having gotten herself in tip top bikini shape just in case she should be photographed while walking back and forth past lines of paparazzi. All the work turned out to be worthwhile. Kelly looked like a million bitcoins. Quite impressive really. Enjoy.


Kelly Bensimon Bikini Pictures White, Nice, and Relatively Tight

We saw former Real Housewife Kelly Bensimon last week shooting bikini shots down in Miami in her white ode-to-Elle-Macpherson look bikini, now here are more of the results. Not too shabby. No Elle Macpherson mind you, but who is?

Still Kelly Bensimon certainly lives in the upper tier of the overly overdone 40-something Housewives category, mostly filled with spam-cut drunkards and bloated attention seekers. Yes, not a tough category, but with the likes of Joanna Krupa joining the party, the competition is slowly rising. Kelly Bensimon holds her own. Enjoy.

Kelly Bensimon Bikini Pictures A Hot Ogle from a Distant Balcony

We really do loathe the entire Real Housewives of Insert City series that combine plastic surgery riddled, emotionally unstable, drunk mothers with, well, mostly just with booze. Watching a Botoxed mom fall to pieces isn't all that entertaining. It's mostly just kind of sad. Unless of course she's hot, which truly is the primary criticism of Bravo. Make them hot and we'll watch them drink themselves down the drain I suppose.

Which leads us to former N.Y. Real Housewife, Kelly Bensimon, who tries hard to pull off the Elle Macpherson surfer bikini mom in her mid-40's thing, and does so to some degree, though we'd not be honest if we say Kelly looks far better in yonder window than perhaps up close by the pool where some odd looking lines and patterns appear on her bare torso.

Still, within the world of the Real Housewives, Kelly is an eight or nine. And there isn't any ten. Enjoy.

Kelly Bensimon Tries To Fight Off Sara Jean Underwood in a Battle of Vegas Pimpstresses

Okay, so this isn't exactly a fair fight, as our deep-seeded lust for all things Sara Jean Underwood doesn't just put her on a pedestal above other women, it puts her in a place that where once we start ogling her, we often skip meals, or forget to breathe, or semi-important things like that.

Nevertheless, the two main pimpstresses in Vegas this past weekend were Sara Jean Underwood, working and twisting her hot body for Tabu nightclub promotions, while across The Strip, New York City Housewife Kelly Bensimon wore basically a bathing suit to hawk Tao nightclub. It was quite the show of show-womanship to move sinners from craps table to $30 cocktails inside the clubs. Like the rube-shuffle.

Now, we're already casting our vote for Sara Jean as hottest pitch lady, but for those of you who can't shake your hot mom fantasies, we have no problem with you working Kelly into your naughty MILF fantasies. Hey, what happens on Egotastic! stays on Egotastic!  Enjoy.


Kelly Bensimon Nipple Slips Finally Something Real (and Hot) About the N.Y.C. Housewives


The Real Housewives biggest problem is that they're just boring. Also, they do tend to look like the mummified remains of ancient Egyptian wives dug up and re-animated for some type of modern museum tour. The amount of facial reconstructive surgery among those housewives is quite stupendous from a scientific standpoint. However, there are one or two of the lot of them boozing, shopping, plastic surgery messes that do still tickle our fancy, including N.Y.C Housewives veteran Kelly Bensimon, who has been down in Miami Beach this week on some kind of 'I want attention' tour working out in public, jogging, playing tennis, shopping in tiny outfits, none of which kind of seemed altogether share worthy with our readers -- that is until now.

Kelly took to the waters off the Miami Beach shoreline and don't you know, off came her top revealing a quite delightful nipple slip. Now, knowing what we know about reality television and its denizen, the cynical among us might say this wardrobe malfunction was more publicity stunt than accident, but in this modern world of fame whoring, it's so very hard to tell the truth from the reality b.s.. So, for the most part, we just try to sit back, ogle, and enjoy.


Kelly Bensimom and Tinsley Mortimer Bikini Pictures: Socialites in South Beach Heat

I once attended a socialite function with a girlfriend, some type of formal ball that involved lots of announcements and polite applause, and way too light all around on the booze. I felt awkward and out of place, not so much for my internal self-esteem issues, but because no less than four people came up to me during the function and told me I looked awkward and out of place. I really hope they were referring to my sky blue croc footwear and not the fact that I was flop sweating through my rented tuxedo. In either event, that was enough high society to last me a life time.

On the other hand, there's no denying, there were many hotties. Among the group of girls who starve themselves to get back at daddy for loving his golf game more than his kids, there are some sweet young lasses who look upon an outsider and member of the plebe class as a chance to really stick it to dad. So, in short, it's pretty easy pickings if you've ever taken a psych class.

All of which leads me to far more uppity Tinsley Mortimer, New York socialite and celebutante who is sort of a Paris Hilton, but with a brain, so smart enough to stay out of most troubles. Tinsley and her girlfriend and New York Housewife Kelly Bensimon, a 43-year old MILFtastic specimen in her own right, have been down the past few days in South Beach, tanning, or filming, or just looking for rich men, or all of the above, and doing so in various forms of body-sharing bikini looks. It's a nice little late Winter ogle-thing.

So if you dig the mature rich ladies hanging by the pool, hang your eyeballs on these two, and, enjoy.

Kelly Bensimon Bikini Body Is the Single Thing Worth Watching on Real Housewives

The entire collection of Real Houswives of...reality shows is a giant intellectual turd that ought be flushed from the popular culture bowl as quickly and completely as possible. Nothing good can come from glamorizing the goings-on of half-baked mummy mommies whose lives center around purses, Range Rovers, and botox injections. That being said, I'm compelled to give credit where credit is due, and some is definitely due to the bikini body of Kelly Bensimon of the New York edition. Were it so that all these moronic and catty drinking divorcees were rendered unable to speak, and the camera remained focused on the asstastic of Kelly Bensimon on the beach, well, then this boob tube content might just be watchable. That is one fine MILF body, deserving of mention, and ogle. Now, make these shows go away, please. Please. Enjoy.

Photo credit: Splash News / INF Photo / Fame