Heidi Klum

Heidi Klum Bikini MILFtastic Vacation Continues in the Bahamas

Oh, mama. Literally, mama Heidi Klum continues her forty and faptastic bikini run through the Bahamian Islands vacation with her family and various and sundry young men she may be boinking to stay youthful.

Heidi keeps her looks au natural, a little bit of the mature signs of a woman with the years to know exactly what she wants, but with the youthful figure to let you know she has plans to help you make that happen. That really is the allure of the veteran hotties I often speak of, when my hands are able to work. Heidi Klum, I am so ready to be your boy toy, cabana boy, loofah scrubber, or just the guy who takes your gum and puts it back into a the foil wrapper you thought you'd discarded. I am there for you. Let's be there for each other together, ideally, nekkid. Enjoy.

Heidi Klum Fun Bikini Bahamas Vacation Time

Heidi Klum truly is the do-it-all MILF. Not only has she produced something in the neighborhood of twenty-two children, but she's keeping her bikini body in mommy bikini shape as she runs her empire for the week from the Bahamas, chillaxing as the kids say, beneath the warm Caribbean sun.

Heidi may not have the exact same body she did as a young woman, who does, but she keeps it tight and natural and has very European sensibilities about showing off as much skin as possible even when a responsible mom at the beach. I can truly respect that. And I would like to tell her so while relaxing in her Bahamian hotel suite as she announces I'm her next boy toy of the month and proceeds to use me at will. It's the dream. Enjoy.

Heidi Klum Nip Slips Still a Treasure To Behold

 

Heidi Klum really is one of my favorites. Not only because she's technically an eligible bachelorette, a hot 40-year old German model with strict principles in the bedroom, and, a woman who could keep me in the comfortable lifestyle to which I hope to become accustomed to. But also because she's one of those famous celebrities not super caught up in worrying about being caught flashing her body parts on occasion.

No freaking out for Heidi when, say, her nipples start falling out of her bikini top in the Bahamas. Heck, she doesn't even notice or even care for a good long amount of time. And good for Heidi. Beautiful women have nothing to be ashamed of in the flashing department. If anybody should be ashamed, it's me and my current thoughts on what I'd like to be doing with Heidi's nipples. Really, I am a troubled man. Enjoy.

Heidi Klum Bikini Pictures Vacation in the Bahamas So We Can Have a Nice Peek

Heidi Klum is a successful entrepreneur and model and mom of some unknown number of children. Why not take a relaxing Bahamas bikini vacation when you get the chance to float aimlessly on the water beneath the warm Caribbean sun. I'm not any of those things and that still looks like something I think I should deserve. Of course, I don't look at good as Heidi Klum in a bikini.

Even past 40 now, Heidi is more than holding her own in the hot mom beach body circles, and, trust me, they are circles. She's currently one of Hollywood's most eligible single ladies, with her hot looks, her sleek body, and not to mention her nice fortune. Just what I'm looking for in a woman, really.  I'd like to think I have many of the qualities she's looking for in a man. Like, not being Seal and, well, that's about it at the moment. Heidi, call me. I can help dry your bikinis. Enjoy.

Kelly Rowland, Kim Kardashian, Britney Spears Lead the Way of Cleavage for Elton John’s AIDS Foundation Post-Oscars Party

Make of it what you will, but the Elton John AIDS Foundation party tends to bring out the biggest shows of cleavage each Oscar Sunday, with the lovely ladies of L.A. saving up their funbaggery for when the more stately Academy Awards come to a conclusion.

Heidi Klum, Kim Kardashian, Kelly Rowland, Britney Spears, Ashley Greene, and Irina Shayk all came up noteworthy in the category of most chest exposed on an otherwise pretty modestly dressed night for most of the actual movie stars. The Elton John party ticket is the hottest in town, if you can get it, which you can, for eight thousand times my hourly play rate. I had to save up this year to buy a new carbon fiber yo-yo, so I skipped, but I would never miss out on hot celebrity chestiness. Enjoy.

Heidi Klum, Kat Dennings, and Jessica Alba Highlight the Hotness at the 2014 People’s Choice Awards

I still have no clue who the people in the People's Choice Awards are, but that annual show the second week in January each year pretty much kicks off the A-list award show season, which means for the next six weeks you can anticipate a ton of glamorous looking hotties all decked out in their finest expensive frocks walking up and down the red carpet discussing the truly wonderful subject of self-importance. We once had a blogger award show but everybody who showed up was scruffy and doughy and wearing ironic T-shirts and not wanting to talk to each other. Albeit, it was slightly more real than the People's Choice Awards.

Despite the silliness of the award show concept, it does bring out the major league celebrity good-lookers, including last night, Heidi Klum, Jessica Alba, Beth Behrs, Kat Dennings, and Malin Akerman, who were my own Personal Choice Awards for best looking cleavage shows on the red carpet. Not that anybody would be slightly interested in that when they could be watching boy teens they've never heard of receive awards for something or other. What a night (to read about the next morning). Enjoy.

Heidi Klum Flashing Some Cheetah Panties and a Sheer Tee

Now that's the mom we've come to know and lust. Heidi Klum made her MILFy way about Brentwood with and without her large brood and her kids' bodyguard slash boyfriend toy, flashing a little peek at her animal skin print undies and her bra through her sheer white tee. Nothing super showy from the German model mom, but enough to trigger hot lady in the neighborhood fantasies among folks like myself with very short fantasy fuses.

Heidi Klum is sexy, wealthy, successful, and shown a penchant for boinking the help. I'm thinking maybe chauffeur or intimate hair waxer is my in with Heidi. I'd select the latter only because I'm extremely detail oriented. Enjoy.