Heidi Klum

Heidi Klum, a Tall Drink of Water in a Short Red Dress

Let me see. Tall, blonde, rich, single, super hot. Oh, Heidi Klum, you are so ready to be my friends with benefits.

The German model turned American businesswoman nearly stopped traffic in New York City, well, the traffic that was moving at least, strutting about in a super tight short red dress, showing off her exquisite veteran hot body and some legs that you don't just get by wishing for them. At 41, Heidi shows no signs of slowing down on the corruption of young men specialty arts, often showing off fine feathered parts of her MILFtastic body in public settings. At the beach, she'll often show you even more.

Heidi, there's absolutely no reason we can't be together for the next three to six months in a torrid romance that one day you'll look back on and barely remember. As for me, I shall cherish every moment. Let our lovemaking bring peace to the world as church bells around the world ring if only to cover the sound of my plaintive wails. Enjoy.

Heidi Klum, Brooklyn Decker, Charlize Theron, Jessica Alba Highlight the Hotness in US Weekly Hot Body Issues 2014

US Weekly may not be a periodical for the male of the species, or the thoughtful, but any magazine outlet that is putting together photos of sextastic celebrities for a collection of Hot Hollywood bodies is definitely worth perusing. Let's see here, Brooklyn Decker, Heidi Klum, Charlize Theron, Jessica Alba, Lea Michele, Sofia Vergara. Check check check, this sounds like the list I made for my imaginary pool party this summer.

While US weekly sort of compiled some existing photos of each of these crazy hot famous lady folk, I would certainly volunteer to update their hot body photos with some shots of my own taking with my fingers forming a square and me making a click sound as I tell the girls to make love to the camera, literally. I suppose this is why I lost my photographers license at the last hearing. Enjoy.

Irina Shayk, Heidi Klum, Nicole Scherzinger And More Hotties At AMFAR Gala

The AMFAR gala at the Cannes Film Festival was a veritable smorgasbord of hotness. Sweet lord there were boobs galore. Irina Shayk wore a pink dress that showed off not only deep cleav but also most of her sexy legs. Legendary hottie Heidi Klum was also on hand in a blue dress with a plunging neckline that showed off the inner sides of her funbags and a deep slit that revealed her fabulous Teutonic legs. Bombshell singer Nicole Scherzinger was there in a black dress that basically only covered her nips, so there was side and top boob all over the place. In addition, classic beauty Sharon Stone was at the event and she seems to have forgotten her bra at home. Needless to to say that the slit in the front of her dress made us relive our teenage Basic Instinct fantasies. What can I say about Rosario Dawson's cleavage-filled dress with peek-a-boo window to her ta-tas? Yes, please is what I can say! Michelle Rodriguez also brought along her sideboobs. Basically, what I'm telling you is that everyone had their ladies out. Lara Stone basically wore a push-up bra and Dita Von Teese wore one of her typical sideboobtacular dresses. Kylie Minogue might as well have just come shirtless. And Alessandra Ambrosio? She was busting out all over.

If all of these spectacular ladies and their sideboobs didn't raise enough money then nothing will.

Heidi Klum Is Back in L.A. from Her Topless Mexican Adventures

Well, a bra peek will have to do at this point as the German supermodel and business woman extraordinaire returned from her multiply topless bikini vacation down Mexico way and while LAX does not permit nudity in the terminals, thankfully if you've been to LAX. Heidi Klum did manage to still get a little attention with a see-through sheer top. Not quite the full flashing of her motherly yams, but it was a subtle reminder that she happily removes her tops while 98% of her peers in Hollywood perish the thought.

Heidi Klum, I think I'm like nineteenth now on your wait list for next boyfriends during your midlife crisis of sorts. I'd prefer to be higher, but I can wait patiently if you can keep looking amazing and blonde and tall and wonderful. Let me know when I'm third to go or so so I can start oiling up. Like a an overgrown boy scout, I am always prepared. Enjoy.

Heidi Klum Goes Topless Again in Mexico

 

Legendary supermodel Heidi Klum decided to go topless in Mexico for the second day in a row. I told you yesterday about the Germanic beauty letting it all hang out while on vacation with her boyfriend Vito Schnabel. Well, she didn't let the press commenting on it deter her one bit from unleashing her flesh puppies again. Heidi seems totally at ease just hanging out with her breasteses flopping around in full view of all of her fellow beach goers. You have to respect that kind of self confidence. Then again I would probably feel that comfortable with my body if I had been acclaimed as one of the most beautiful people of the last twenty years. The best I ever got was a, "You look alright" from my mom when I went to the prom.

Hopefully Heidi will extend her vacation so we'll get a few more days of topless Mexican fun. Rest assured, if her naked chesticles hit the air we'll report back to you.

Heidi Klum Goes Topless In Mexico

 

Heidi Klum decided to let the girls out for some air on a beach in Mexico. She was there vacationing with her young paramour Vito Schnabel, when she opted to lose the top of her bikini. One doesn't want tan lines, does one? The problem with nude beaches is that they are usually populated by people you don't want to see naked. Luckily, for the people on this beach they got an eyeful of one of the most famous models of the last twenty years. The Teutonic beauty still looks amazing. This woman is forty years old and has four kids and still rocks it like a supermodel. But it's not just her naked ripe melons that make these pictures a wonder to look at. Her bikini bottoms are also really small. You can see a great deal of that famous Klum butt.

That Vito is one lucky dude. He should thank all the gods, Buddhas, Jesuses, and Thors that he bagged such a knockout.

Heidi Klum Sports Leather Dress On The Red Carpet

Model and TV host Heidi Klum was hotter than a steaming bratwurst in a short black leather dress on the red carpet. Heidi was there as one of the hosts of America's Got Talent. The dress was short, the way a leather outfit should be, showing off her long Teutonic legs. There is really no point in wearing an outfit made of the same material as bondage gear if you aren't going to show off some skin. Heidi's talent was almost on display in the dress was so short. It's hard to believe that Heidi is 40 and has like 57 kids. I don't watch America's Got Talent but maybe I'm going to start. As long as Howard Stern doesn't get any of his wacky ideas and borrows Heidi's clothes. That would be an American tragedy.

All I know is that Heidi is just as hot as she was fifteen years ago when she first strutted down the runway in her underwear and a pair of angel wings for Victoria's Secret. I hope that really is what heaven is like.