Heidi Klum

Kelly Rowland, Kim Kardashian, Britney Spears Lead the Way of Cleavage for Elton John’s AIDS Foundation Post-Oscars Party

Make of it what you will, but the Elton John AIDS Foundation party tends to bring out the biggest shows of cleavage each Oscar Sunday, with the lovely ladies of L.A. saving up their funbaggery for when the more stately Academy Awards come to a conclusion.

Heidi Klum, Kim Kardashian, Kelly Rowland, Britney Spears, Ashley Greene, and Irina Shayk all came up noteworthy in the category of most chest exposed on an otherwise pretty modestly dressed night for most of the actual movie stars. The Elton John party ticket is the hottest in town, if you can get it, which you can, for eight thousand times my hourly play rate. I had to save up this year to buy a new carbon fiber yo-yo, so I skipped, but I would never miss out on hot celebrity chestiness. Enjoy.

Heidi Klum, Kat Dennings, and Jessica Alba Highlight the Hotness at the 2014 People’s Choice Awards

I still have no clue who the people in the People's Choice Awards are, but that annual show the second week in January each year pretty much kicks off the A-list award show season, which means for the next six weeks you can anticipate a ton of glamorous looking hotties all decked out in their finest expensive frocks walking up and down the red carpet discussing the truly wonderful subject of self-importance. We once had a blogger award show but everybody who showed up was scruffy and doughy and wearing ironic T-shirts and not wanting to talk to each other. Albeit, it was slightly more real than the People's Choice Awards.

Despite the silliness of the award show concept, it does bring out the major league celebrity good-lookers, including last night, Heidi Klum, Jessica Alba, Beth Behrs, Kat Dennings, and Malin Akerman, who were my own Personal Choice Awards for best looking cleavage shows on the red carpet. Not that anybody would be slightly interested in that when they could be watching boy teens they've never heard of receive awards for something or other. What a night (to read about the next morning). Enjoy.

Heidi Klum Flashing Some Cheetah Panties and a Sheer Tee

Now that's the mom we've come to know and lust. Heidi Klum made her MILFy way about Brentwood with and without her large brood and her kids' bodyguard slash boyfriend toy, flashing a little peek at her animal skin print undies and her bra through her sheer white tee. Nothing super showy from the German model mom, but enough to trigger hot lady in the neighborhood fantasies among folks like myself with very short fantasy fuses.

Heidi Klum is sexy, wealthy, successful, and shown a penchant for boinking the help. I'm thinking maybe chauffeur or intimate hair waxer is my in with Heidi. I'd select the latter only because I'm extremely detail oriented. Enjoy.

Heidi Klum Sucks a Popsicle, I Give Her a Six

I love nothing more than to see some of our favorite sextastic celebrities working their mouths lusciously over a cool summer time treat. I don't care if it's the middle of winter, I can't help but think it's a preview of what they might be like in regard to pulling push pops in the boudoir.

I have to give Heidi Klum something of a mixed grade in this regard. While I would kill each and every one of you with a dull screwdriver for the chance to be that popsicles, she seems a bit of a nibbler, a sampler if you will. There's no full commitment to taking down that mohel'd frozen treat and I'm a bit underwhelmed. We've seen better. Though I suppose being a wicked hot German model with $50 million in the bank makes the point rather moot. It always does. Enjoy.

Sofia Vergara, Maria Menounos, Heidi Klum Among Hotties Worth Seeing at the 2013 Emmy Awards

Well, if I'm being honest, the Emmy Awards were pretty damn boring My expectations where low, they were met. But like all major award shows, they do bring out some of the finest women on the planet trying to look their finest, and that can never be wrong.

The 2013 Emmy Awards were highlighted by the good looking likes of Sofia Vergara, who steals every red carpet she ever attends, Maria Menounos, a Grecian TV goddess, Heidi Klum, Julie Bowen, Malin Akerman, and several other noteworthy sextastic stars of the small screen. I give the show a C minus, I give these ladies my phone number. Please, call me. Enjoy.

Heidi Klum Flashes German Hot Body for America’s Got Talent

Really, Heidi Klum can do no wrong. She can kick out her husband, start sleeping with her kids' bodyguard, nobody cares. Because Heidi is successful and growing in her empire and, well, she looks really damn hot. It's an unstoppable force really, not even including the dominant German accent she carries naturally.

Heidi was flashing her legs and healthy amount of cleavage at a wrap event for America's Got Talent. I'd say Heidi has a little talent of her own. Women like Heidi get pretty much whatever they want. And, honestly, that seems like the way things should work.

Heidi Klum Hates Bras (As Do We)

Ours is not to wonder why, only to ogle and stare. At the likes of Heidi Klum running around Santa Monica with her between four and seventeen children and her kids' bodyguard turned boyfriend and a whole bunch of other things she remembered to bring, well, except for her bra. We of course applaud this organizational oversight. Though we doubt it was unplanned.

It wasn't as if a world class supermodel and business woman and humper of her employees just suddenly forgot her undergarments. And the top wasn't exactly racy, still, as ever, we applaud European wardrobe sensibilities. Enjoy.