Heidi Klum decided to let the girls out for some air on a beach in Mexico. She was there vacationing with her young paramour Vito Schnabel, when she opted to lose the top of her bikini. One doesn’t want tan lines, does one? The problem with nude beaches is that they are usually populated by people you don’t want to see naked. Luckily, for the people on this beach they got an eyeful of one of the most famous models of the last twenty years. The Teutonic beauty still looks amazing. This woman is forty years old and has four kids and still rocks it like a supermodel. But it’s not just her naked ripe melons that make these pictures a wonder to look at. Her bikini bottoms are also really small. You can see a great deal of that famous Klum butt.
That Vito is one lucky dude. He should thank all the gods, Buddhas, Jesuses, and Thors that he bagged such a knockout.
Model and TV host Heidi Klum was hotter than a steaming bratwurst in a short black leather dress on the red carpet. Heidi was there as one of the hosts of America’s Got Talent. The dress was short, the way a leather outfit should be, showing off her long Teutonic legs. There is really no point in wearing an outfit made of the same material as bondage gear if you aren’t going to show off some skin. Heidi’s talent was almost on display in the dress was so short. It’s hard to believe that Heidi is 40 and has like 57 kids. I don’t watch America’s Got Talent but maybe I’m going to start. As long as Howard Stern doesn’t get any of his wacky ideas and borrows Heidi’s clothes. That would be an American tragedy.
All I know is that Heidi is just as hot as she was fifteen years ago when she first strutted down the runway in her underwear and a pair of angel wings for Victoria’s Secret. I hope that really is what heaven is like.
Oh, mama. Literally, mama Heidi Klum continues her forty and faptastic bikini run through the Bahamian Islands vacation with her family and various and sundry young men she may be boinking to stay youthful.
Heidi keeps her looks au natural, a little bit of the mature signs of a woman with the years to know exactly what she wants, but with the youthful figure to let you know she has plans to help you make that happen. That really is the allure of the veteran hotties I often speak of, when my hands are able to work. Heidi Klum, I am so ready to be your boy toy, cabana boy, loofah scrubber, or just the guy who takes your gum and puts it back into a the foil wrapper you thought you’d discarded. I am there for you. Let’s be there for each other together, ideally, nekkid. Enjoy.
Heidi Klum truly is the do-it-all MILF. Not only has she produced something in the neighborhood of twenty-two children, but she’s keeping her bikini body in mommy bikini shape as she runs her empire for the week from the Bahamas, chillaxing as the kids say, beneath the warm Caribbean sun.
Heidi may not have the exact same body she did as a young woman, who does, but she keeps it tight and natural and has very European sensibilities about showing off as much skin as possible even when a responsible mom at the beach. I can truly respect that. And I would like to tell her so while relaxing in her Bahamian hotel suite as she announces I’m her next boy toy of the month and proceeds to use me at will. It’s the dream. Enjoy.
Heidi Klum really is one of my favorites. Not only because she’s technically an eligible bachelorette, a hot 40-year old German model with strict principles in the bedroom, and, a woman who could keep me in the comfortable lifestyle to which I hope to become accustomed to. But also because she’s one of those famous celebrities not super caught up in worrying about being caught flashing her body parts on occasion.
No freaking out for Heidi when, say, her nipples start falling out of her bikini top in the Bahamas. Heck, she doesn’t even notice or even care for a good long amount of time. And good for Heidi. Beautiful women have nothing to be ashamed of in the flashing department. If anybody should be ashamed, it’s me and my current thoughts on what I’d like to be doing with Heidi’s nipples. Really, I am a troubled man. Enjoy.
See More Heidi Klum Goodness »
Heidi Klum is a successful entrepreneur and model and mom of some unknown number of children. Why not take a relaxing Bahamas bikini vacation when you get the chance to float aimlessly on the water beneath the warm Caribbean sun. I’m not any of those things and that still looks like something I think I should deserve. Of course, I don’t look at good as Heidi Klum in a bikini.
Even past 40 now, Heidi is more than holding her own in the hot mom beach body circles, and, trust me, they are circles. She’s currently one of Hollywood’s most eligible single ladies, with her hot looks, her sleek body, and not to mention her nice fortune. Just what I’m looking for in a woman, really. I’d like to think I have many of the qualities she’s looking for in a man. Like, not being Seal and, well, that’s about it at the moment. Heidi, call me. I can help dry your bikinis. Enjoy.
Make of it what you will, but the Elton John AIDS Foundation party tends to bring out the biggest shows of cleavage each Oscar Sunday, with the lovely ladies of L.A. saving up their funbaggery for when the more stately Academy Awards come to a conclusion.
Heidi Klum, Kim Kardashian, Kelly Rowland, Britney Spears, Ashley Greene, and Irina Shayk all came up noteworthy in the category of most chest exposed on an otherwise pretty modestly dressed night for most of the actual movie stars. The Elton John party ticket is the hottest in town, if you can get it, which you can, for eight thousand times my hourly play rate. I had to save up this year to buy a new carbon fiber yo-yo, so I skipped, but I would never miss out on hot celebrity chestiness. Enjoy.