Heidi Klum

Heidi Klum Sucks a Popsicle, I Give Her a Six

I love nothing more than to see some of our favorite sextastic celebrities working their mouths lusciously over a cool summer time treat. I don't care if it's the middle of winter, I can't help but think it's a preview of what they might be like in regard to pulling push pops in the boudoir.

I have to give Heidi Klum something of a mixed grade in this regard. While I would kill each and every one of you with a dull screwdriver for the chance to be that popsicles, she seems a bit of a nibbler, a sampler if you will. There's no full commitment to taking down that mohel'd frozen treat and I'm a bit underwhelmed. We've seen better. Though I suppose being a wicked hot German model with $50 million in the bank makes the point rather moot. It always does. Enjoy.

Sofia Vergara, Maria Menounos, Heidi Klum Among Hotties Worth Seeing at the 2013 Emmy Awards

Well, if I'm being honest, the Emmy Awards were pretty damn boring My expectations where low, they were met. But like all major award shows, they do bring out some of the finest women on the planet trying to look their finest, and that can never be wrong.

The 2013 Emmy Awards were highlighted by the good looking likes of Sofia Vergara, who steals every red carpet she ever attends, Maria Menounos, a Grecian TV goddess, Heidi Klum, Julie Bowen, Malin Akerman, and several other noteworthy sextastic stars of the small screen. I give the show a C minus, I give these ladies my phone number. Please, call me. Enjoy.

Heidi Klum Flashes German Hot Body for America’s Got Talent

Really, Heidi Klum can do no wrong. She can kick out her husband, start sleeping with her kids' bodyguard, nobody cares. Because Heidi is successful and growing in her empire and, well, she looks really damn hot. It's an unstoppable force really, not even including the dominant German accent she carries naturally.

Heidi was flashing her legs and healthy amount of cleavage at a wrap event for America's Got Talent. I'd say Heidi has a little talent of her own. Women like Heidi get pretty much whatever they want. And, honestly, that seems like the way things should work.

Heidi Klum Hates Bras (As Do We)

Ours is not to wonder why, only to ogle and stare. At the likes of Heidi Klum running around Santa Monica with her between four and seventeen children and her kids' bodyguard turned boyfriend and a whole bunch of other things she remembered to bring, well, except for her bra. We of course applaud this organizational oversight. Though we doubt it was unplanned.

It wasn't as if a world class supermodel and business woman and humper of her employees just suddenly forgot her undergarments. And the top wasn't exactly racy, still, as ever, we applaud European wardrobe sensibilities. Enjoy.

Heidi Klum Bikini Pictures Put the Bahama Mama in the Double Dipping Sextastic Spotlight

Heidi Klum seems to be happy. I guess she and her new boyfriend slash household staff are getting along swimmingly, as they seem to take many vacations together. Which is bully for him because we know what he gets, but works out well for us as well as we get to see much of Heidi these days in very little clothing in various tropical locales.

Like the Bahamas, where she spent the 4th of July holiday weekend with her hair braided in a bikini like Bo Derek in 10. Maybe not quite the same, but then Bo Derek never had a $100 million dollar celebrity valuation, so, personally, I'm putting my chips and false love behind Heidi, specifically behind her still tight mommy booty that she showed off in not one, but two separate bikinis. Enjoy.

Heidi Klum Braless in the Park

Ah, summer, let's see what other treats you have for us in your seasonal infancy. Yes, hot moms braless at the park. And this one happens to be a sextastic German model who's banging her bodyguard.

Heidi Klum took some or all of her brood and her purse-holding new beau to the park over the weekend, skipping the formalities of a bra, perhaps an ode to the warm summer weather, or perhaps just a reminder to the other dads at the park that this bodyguard thing isn't going to last forever. You know how much we abhor bras here at Egotastic!, so we applaud Heidi for her upper commando stylings, be it at the park or in our boudoir. Enjoy.

Heidi Klum With Some Sideboob in the Meatpacking District (Best Game of Clue Ever)

Heidi Klum really has been experiencing something of a hotness renaissance since she dumped her husband and started sleeping with her bodyguard. I'm not suggesting every woman out there do the same, unless, of course, you are one of my bodyguard service clients and you're hot, but it seems to have worked for Heidi.

She's showing skin-revealing at major upscale events the past several months, including just a fancy evening out in the meatpacking district in N.Y., flashing some sweet side views of her tall veteran model body frame.

Of course, we would always like to see much more of Heidi. And here's to hoping she takes another one of her European beach holidays where she gets in the spirit of removing her top for an almost all over tan. But until that time, we shall continue to imagine straps falling off her shoulders. Enjoy.