Emma Watson

Emma Watson Wicked White Hot at Noah Premiere in London

Well, I think I just figured out who's going in my boat when it comes time to pick a woman to repopulate the planet with post-flood. Emma Watson. Just so hot.

Emma looked ridiculously amazing as a woman can while fully dressed on the red carpet of the Noah premiere last night in London. Her white slit dress showing off her legs and figure and making Hermione look all decked out and grown up and ready to climb aboard my ark for our important be fruitful and multiple mission. Even the animals will be made nervous by of our primal procreative screams. I care not. Nor am I ever going to release the dove to check for dried land. I'll just keep sailing with Emma. Damn she looks so fine. Enjoy.

Emma Watson Is So Grown Up I Want to Cry

Oh, Hermione, how the years fly by watching you, appropriately and from a distance, go from awkward teen ingenue, to less appropriately, Emma Watson, the grown model actress 20-something in various ladies magazines I routinely pilfer from the hair salon.

Emma's latest and greatest beauty portraiture can be seen in the new edition of Elle magazine, which is the U.S. version so no nekkid fun bits, but still all Emma hotness. She really is a vision of hotness. Someday, soon, she will shun these material objects known as clothes and do a proper sitting, and, on that day, my head will freaking explode. Still, I'd do that deal. C'mon, Emma. Enjoy.

2014 Academy Awards — Oscar Red Carpet Hotties (Updating)

So, let it begin. The 86th Academy Awards and procession of the sextastic.

We'll keep updating this as the various lovely decked out ladies of Tinsel Town exit their limos and arrive on the red carpet. But you can't be off to a better start than Ireland Baldwin and Maria Menounos.

Ah, Olivia Wilde, Emma WatsonCharlize TheronKristen Bell, Naomi Watts, Julia Roberts, Sandra Bullock, Kate Hudson, Penelope CruzAnna Kendrick, Amy Adams, Cate Blanchettand many more.

In summary: there wasn't much by the way of risque or cleavy or showy on the red carpet this year, but there's no doubt there were a dozen or more ladies of the Silver Screen who looked absolutely stunning in their million dollar get-ups. It's just like my prom night, except with hot girls who fit their dresses. Enjoy.

Katy Perry and Emma Watson Highlight the Hotness at the Elle Style Awards

First off, if I didn't win an Elle style award yet again this year, I'm going to be pissed. I think it really is meant mostly for famous women who get all decked out for the big event in London, but I like to think my own cutting edge sense of style transcends the minor qualification elements. Not many men can pull of Crocs as dress shoes. Just saying, Elle, how about a little polite nod and a trophy for my faux L.A. fireplace mantle?

While I await my own accolades, hotties such as Katy Cocktease and Emma Watson arrived at the event to receive tons of fawning and devotion for their own sense of fashion and style. I guess because I mostly imagine both of them being nekkid almost all of the time I never really put them together with fashion award worthy grooming, but I suppose that makes sense too. Let's all go back to my hotel room at The Savoy and celebrate with champagne and silk restraints. Enjoy.

Emma Watson Hot and Bothered in Wonderland Magazine

Emma Watson really knows how to turn on the sextastic spigot at the right time. Or the paid time I suppose. When she's on duty, the little British minx goes from casual college girl to ogle-worthy starlet with the flip of a switch. I suppose that switch actually takes a while to flip with hair and makeup and lighting and whatnot, but it's definitely on in her new pictorial for Wonderland magazine.

While we've long hoped for less glamour and more nekkidness from Hermione, I'm not sure that will ever really come to pass. But, there is a reason candles were invented, for hoping with a little extra flare. To see Emma Watson showing off her full effects would be amazing. For now, we just imagine, and yearn. Oh, how we yearn. Enjoy.

Emma Watson Deliver Simply Sextastic Gravity

We haven't seen the faptastic Emma Watson in some time now, so quite the uplifting surprise to see Hermione looking rather stellar in white on the red carpet for the New York premiere of Gravity. Lots of Emma Watson oglers were outraged a couple years ago now when Emma chopped off her long locks and made a play for being too important to be a classic big screen sex symbol, but she's managed somehow to make it all work.

As we've said many times, you can't cage the sextastic, it's not something that can be bottled or contained, it finds its way out, as it did last night with Emma in New York. She can look so damn amazing, even if she doesn't want to. I suppose there's something poetic in that. Enjoy.

Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, Alice Eve, Daisy Lowe, Emma Watson, Lead List of Hotties at Brit GQ Men of the Year Awards

I guess it's Men of the Year because there are just too many good men in England to name just one guy the best. Naturally, I expect to win that award when it's handed out in the U.S, I mean, if GQ would finally admit that torn jeans and an AC/DC concert t-shirt are the height of fashion. Regardless, the entire evening in honoring the men is really about bringing out the hot women, as GQ always does, including belusted hotties Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, Alice Eve, Emma Watson, and Daisy Lowe, to name a few funny talking sextastic ladies.

Someday, I'll have girls of this caliber all decked out and drinking martinis at one of my swank backyard soirees. Just as soon as I get a backyard. Or figure out what soiree means. Enjoy.