Emily Ratajkowski

Emily Ratajkowski Braless and Sextastic in Orange for Power Breakfast

Oh, Emily Ratajkowski, first you won my heart, now my body. Please show up to accept your award. I’ll be the knee-buckled jellyfish like creature in the corner waiting for you to take me home and put me over your fireplace. I hope you have one in the bedroom.

Emily looked absolutely perfect as any woman can be in clothing at the Women in Entertainment breakfast, an event that doesn’t sound like I should be attending, but one for which I should mostly definitely be spying from the rafters. Talk about your procession of hotties pretending to eat French Toast but just nibbling on a single egg white omelet and a grape. Yum. Starvation and sextastic decked out ladies make me quiver. Emily, if you look this smoking hot in the morning, I can only imagine how alluring you will look after seventeen hours of nonstop making of the sexy in the rumpus room at my abode. I just need to find somebody to cover me on the latter sixteen hours and forty minutes. Daddy needs his naps. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: Getty Images / Splash News

Emily Ratajkowski And Nina Agdal Looking Hot In Miami

Boobtastic duo Emily Ratajkowski and Nina Agdal were looking fine as F at the 5th Annual Bombay Sapphire Artisan Series finale. Emily was wearing a form fitting dress that showed off those famous curves. I remember when I first saw Emily’s funbags in the uncensored version of Robin Thicke’s Blurred Lines. I was instantly in love with those ta-tas. If it had been a cartoon little hearts would have appeared above my head. Not to be outdone, Nina wore a SHORT skit and crop top. She’s got some pretty outstanding legs. They are long and lean and make me wish they were wrapped around me. The crop top also showed off her tight bare mid-riff which is always a good thing.

I’ve got to start getting invites to these events where hot people converge. It is a scientific fact that where you find one sexy person you will most likely find another and another. It’s the physics of hottness.

Photo Credit: Getty Images

Emily Ratajkowski Officially Opens the Christmas Lingerie Season

Christmas Lingerie. Santa, you’ll note that’s the first 45 requests in my lengthy list of asks this Yuletide. Specifically, pay attention please to line item 1 where I ask that Emily Ratajkowski in that lingerie be part of a package request. You give me a lump of coal agains this year St. Nick and I will eat one of your reindeer. That’s not a threat, that’s a promise with a recipe for braised Donder attached.

Emily Ratajkowski working her fine self into little bits of lingerie, as she does for this Yamamay holiday sextastic shoot, well, it’s just a thing of art. The star on the top of my rigid Norwegian spruce, if you speak bad arboreal puns and know what I’m saying. One year for Christmas, I literally got a kick in the ass from dad for the holiday. Santa, I’m not begging, but I am pleading, Emily in a babydoll beneath my lifelike Xmas tree in 2014. You have no idea how big a smile I will make. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: Yamamay Lingerie

Emily Ratajkowski Cleavy Hot Leggy Sizzles for the Foreign Press

Emily Ratajkowski is showing up to more and more places in clothes. It’s kind of a mixed bag. While I always dream of her extensive unclad work, it’s always a blessing to see a super sextastic young woman in her cleavy finest at events such as this Hollywood Foreign Press bit of nonsense two months still ahead of the Golden Globe Awards. The awards season in Hollywood is pretty much a year round thing now, which I would complain more about save for the likes of Emily Ratajkowski looking like the dream girl I had hoped to take to the prom (no offense to Andrea and her back brace naturally, we had good times).

My verdict is in. I will allow Emily to be seen in clothing, at times, provided she obtain my prior written consent and I can still see enough skin to receive a material levels of tingles. This current leg and chest show meets the standard. I approve! Enjoy.

Kristen Stewart, Emily Ratajkowski, Jenna Dewan Tatum Highlight the Hotties at the 2014 Hollywood Film Awards

You’ve got me. I have no clue what the Hollywood Film Awards are. Apparently, this is the 18th annual version of the event and I’m still kind of dumbfounded. That’s not an unusual state of mind in my regard, and you know I believe we simply can’t have enough award shows honoring the benevolent and heroic daily lives of our Hollywood celebrities, such an under-recognized bunch they are. Still, can’t say I’ve ever heard of this one. Though it certainly did bring out the big names in A-list talent along with a bevy of decked out sextastic Tinsel Town lovelies including Kristen Stewart, Emily Ratajkowski, Felicity Jones, Jing Tian, Lia Marie Johnson, Jenna Dewan Tatum and many more.

As always, I fall back on the guiding rule that any event with attractive women is a worthwhile event. Like most of the award shows that will start with award season in January, the upside is the gaggle of glorious hotties who’ve spent hours looking their best. As they always do. So pass out your shiny trophies and auto-fellate yourself into the seventh level of Nirvana, Hollywood. Just keep on bringing out the smoking hot women in showy gowns and we’re all good.

Emily Ratajkowski Decked Out and Sextastic For the Vogue Fashion Dinner

I guess Vogue is to fashion what Egotastic is to all things sextastic ladies who go to fashion awards. So I respect their authority when it comes to best dressed and all that nonsense. Or I could just judge my self based on the old fashioned standard of who makes me drool the most. That would be Emily Ratajkowski in a super fine hot tight dress. A little more material than we’re used to seeing on Emily, and a lot more material than I’m used to seeing in my dreams, but there’s no doubt this brunette minxy model looked like my promo queen fantasy.

Emily Ratajkowski is making the transition from hot nekkid model to fashion model. It scares me a little bit. Or a lot, if you judge by the way my hands tremble and tears streak down my cheeks when I think about Emily suddenly determining she no longer needs nekkid shoots in her portfolio of work. But I understand her career goals may be different than my career goals and or ogling goals. I’d hope we can come to some mutual understanding of needs that will still present the opportunity to see her buck nekkid in the future. I think we  all kind of need that. Give peace a chance. Enjoy.

Chelsea Handler Funbag Flop, Chrissy Teigen See-Through, and Emily Ratajkowski Lingerie Allure Highlight the Sextastic Twitpic Roundup

And the hits and things that rhyme with hits just keep on coming. What a world we live in. The evil dictator of North Korea is missing while tons and tons of hot celebrity social media candids are very much present. I love this tradeoff. And it only promises to get better and better as camera technology and social media one click impulse posting continues to evolve.

This week’s Sextastic Twitpic Roundup includes Chrissy Teigen nipple show in a see-through top, Jen Selter and her amazing thumper, Arianny Celeste killing it with cleavage, Chelsea Handler chest puppy escape, Emily Ratajkowski crazy sextastic, Jessica Lowndes perfect bikini body, Rhian Sugden getting wet in a bikini, Charlotte McKinney preposterously positioned melons, Anastasia Ashley beach booty showdowns, and much much more. You owe it to my very own resurgent fantasy football team, the Ball Kickers, to check out each and every one of these steamy hot social media shares. Enjoy.