If you told me Jessica Alba was on a bikini vacation in the Caribbean and you had photos of the uber-MILFtastic, i’d say, oh, happy days. If you told me Chrissy Teigen and her enlarged funbags were also there in a bikini and that Jessica was bending over and flexing this way and that, I’d say, somebody get the oxygen tank, I’m feeling lightheaded. Is this a dream? Yes, kind of it really is.
Hottest mom in the world Jessica Alba rarely gets down to showing off her stellar body these days, maybe a couple or three times a year. It’s like a nature cameraman waiting months for a once in a long time animal phenomenon to occur. You have to be in the right place at just the right time. Especially when Jessica is bending over in her bikini. And with Chrissy Teigen co-vacationing in her undersized bikini. Wow. This is so much better than National Geographic, and, truly, imho, far more important. We’ve been struck with great fortune! Enjoy.
Photo Credit: FameFlynet
I’m not sure why Chrissy Teigen
is topless during this photoshoot with her husband in Miami. I’m going to guess it has something to do with somebody who’s far more polite than me asking her to take her top off for the cameras. Lord knows I asked so many times to little available. The sextastic Eurasian model has been teasing with peeks here and there over the candid years, but now we get a full frontside view of Chrissy Teigen topless that many of us have been waiting for years. In a way, I feel like I’ve been waiting forever.
Miracles are those little things that happen when you least expect them and sometimes barely even notice them. But big funbag miracles never go unnoticed. Not by the watchful eye of Egotastic! Shame on those media outlets that censored these best pictures ever. Think about your journalistic mission as you lay in bed tonight wondering where this all went wrong. Enjoy.
Photo Credit: INF
Okay, so maybe Chloe Moretz doesn’t look super thrilled to be in a bikini on social media. I’m still super thrilled to see her in a bikini. Isn’t that truly what’s important? I know the answer.
Joining Chloe in this week’s Sextastic Twitpic Roundup, the inimitably hot and showy Kate Upton teasing the hell out of the world, Cubana sensation Mayra Veronica all kinds of Grammy hot, Chrissy Teigen barely covered her bazoongas, Kylie Jenner bcleavy low cut tank top, Chelsea Pereira hot booty in a thong, and many many more. You owe it to the girl who is going to be evaluating your Valentine’s worthiness this weekend to check out each and every one of these red hot social media shares. They posted them, they really want you to see. Enjoy.
Photo Credit: Instagram
Once more, despite technical obstacles, the blessed many of you have shared some of your most skin-filled blessed discoveries with the rest of us worthies and not worthies alike. The cultural communal understanding formally trademark in 1917 as Reader Finds. Occasionally controversial, always filled with celebrity skin of the must-see variety. Think of it as your best source for pure repentant visual joy.
This week’s Reader Finds includes Naomi Watts hot blonde pole dancing (thanks to EgoReader ‘Marco’ for his submission’), the boobtastic Sammy Braddy in some killer reveals in Zoo magazine (kudos to ‘Tony S.’), Penelope Cruz decidedly topless and skinematic (I do so amor Penelope, thanks ‘Aaron’), Nina Moric topless funbag inspection on Italian telly (dropped off by ‘Stephen T.’), Natasha Alam in her memorable vampiric topless scenes (luscious Alam lovelies via ‘Darren’), Melanie Thierry in French exhibitionism of the ta-ta variety (mon dieu! by way of ‘Alexander’), Maud Le Fort topless modeling goodness (love my new French model girlfriend, thanks ‘Renee’), Mary Louise Parker full frontal and rear-al beauty (veteran hottie sextacular delivered by ‘Thomas’), Maria Kooistra topless fun times on the silver screen (oh, foreign girls with their clothes off via ‘Delaney’), ginger treat Leanna Decker topless gorgeous model shots (much shoutouts to ‘Geoff’), Hailee Steinfeld growing up nicely pictorial (an unexpected treat from ‘Trey W.’), the smoking hot Latina Elba Jimenez topless in Playboy Mexico (holy guacamole goodness from ‘Owen’), more Latina blessed sights from topless Diana Gomez (just faptastical bits of heaven via ‘Lee’), and last but not least, Chrissy Teigen with a sudsy boobtastic slip in her new GQ photoshoot. It’s a lot, but I suppose never enough. There’s always room for Jell-O. Enjoy.
Chrissy Teigen, how do I love that swell Eurasian hotness of yours. Chrissy’s man John Legend was up for and one the Golden Globe award for best movie song, which put Chrissy in the mood to show off her faptastic funbags, as is her traditional means of celebration. I can’t really think of a better one.
Chrissy left fancy shmancy celebrity restaurant in West Hollywood is a rather low cut pink dress that just screamed out, please ogle me. So, you know, I obliged. I don’t particularly need an invitation, though it does seem to legitimize the whole leerer and leer-worthy sextastic hottie symbiosis. That’s a big word. She’s a smoking hot woman. I guess you could say I’m chestily inspired. Enjoy.
Photo Credit: Splash
Beyonce and her hot curvy body and killer legs, Charli XCX in a see-through lace dress, and Chrissy Teigen just doing her hot girl thing. Now that’s what I call a get-together. Sort of like a typical Saturday night if you don’t count the lack of sextastic women showing off their flesh but do include Pink Dot delivering Gino’s Pizza Rolls and Beer.
These lovely ladies and others all gather for the Women in Music something something. It’s important that we do honor women in music as it is the content genre that flashes the most sexually charged body part shows. What’s happened in popular music in the past decade is nothing if not astounding in terms of turning pop music into shows that you formerly had to head to your buddy’s bachelor party in Laughlin to see. Sure, it might be corrupting a generation of tweens, but that’s not a huge price to pay for prurient oglers to get to see hot bodies in hardly any clothing twerking and preening and simulating sex on the stage. I’ve been to the Women in Accounting luncheon. Trust me, the Women in Music is far more titillating. No offense, Lady CPAs.
Photo Credit: Splash News / INFphoto.com / GSI
Chrissy Teigen definitely falls into our braless boobtastic brigade of sextastic celebrities these days who seem keen on keeping their bras buried deep in the drawers I tend to inspect when pretending I’m the exterminator. And she has the funbags to extol such a braless public virtue.
Spotted dangling her lovely ta-ta’s on the street of Manhattan, Chrissy was running to and fro in her low cut and commando top, ensuring that her Eurasian winter melons would be nearly bare for the cameras. Wow, that is one fashionable look I can definitely stand behind. Or in front of, whilst drooling. I’ll say this for Chrissy Teigen, she’s never ever boring. I have other things to say about her luscious teats but I’m writing that down in my personal journal of erotic sonnets. Enjoy.
Photo Credit: FameFlyNet