Chrissy Teigen came to play grown up style at the ABC Upfronts where the celebrities on ABC shows show off for advertisers to remind them they are still the best way to sell coffee, cars, and feminine hygiene products. I’m not sure that’s still true, but I do know Chrissy Teigen all kinds of boobtastic in a see-through top and later in a busty clingy bare midriff number could easily direct my marketing dollars and or lovemaking devices.
I must admit, I’m not even sure what ABC show Chrissy is a part of, what with network television being mostly off my radar since the 19th century, but I’m certainly she looks good on it. She looks good on everything. Or in everything. But most of all, out of everything. If the show’s called Chrissy Teigen’s Birthday Suit, somebody please alert me so I can re-program my remote and DVR. Daddy’s coming home. Enjoy.
Photo Credit: FameFlynet/PacificCoastNews
The level of self-published sextastic celebrity skin is rising exponentially. I’m not really even sure what that means as I pretty much fell asleep in school after first grade, but it sounds like something big. Which it is. The boobtastic is baring at epic rates with the hottest girls in town competing with each other to be the most showy. Who could have ever imagined such a wonderful turn of social events just ten years ago? I mean, I did, but I was certain it was just wild fantasy. The hot girls are coming to us!
This week’s Sextastic Twitpic Roundup includes Chrissy Teigen teasing in just a towel, Rita Ora teasing in much less, Emily Ratajkowski flashing deep cleavage, Arianny Celeste racktastic faptastic, Nina Agdal holding her own sunburned twins, and much much more. You owe it to the Gods of Asgard and the nerds who can name them all to check out each and every one of these super fine social media shares. You will walk away a better man. Enjoy.
Photo Credit: Instagram
Professional hot person Chrissy Teigen took time out of her busy schedule of attending award shows with John Legend to try on a series of bikinis for Selfie Magazine. This is what she was born to do, wear bikinis. She’s got a perfect pair of chi chis for it. They aren’t so big that they are swinging to her belly button but they aren’t so small that they can’t be seen. They are the just right boobies Goldilocks would have picked if she was a lesbian and not a filthy porridge thief. But it’s not just her funbags that look amazing, oh no. Let’s not forget about dat booty, as a 90′s rapper might have said. Chrissy has one of those magical butts that I would love to give a nice squeeze. But then John Legend’s bodyguards would beat me to a pulp.
But a man can dream, can’t he?
Photo Credit: Selfie Magazine
If you told me Jessica Alba was on a bikini vacation in the Caribbean and you had photos of the uber-MILFtastic, i’d say, oh, happy days. If you told me Chrissy Teigen and her enlarged funbags were also there in a bikini and that Jessica was bending over and flexing this way and that, I’d say, somebody get the oxygen tank, I’m feeling lightheaded. Is this a dream? Yes, kind of it really is.
Hottest mom in the world Jessica Alba rarely gets down to showing off her stellar body these days, maybe a couple or three times a year. It’s like a nature cameraman waiting months for a once in a long time animal phenomenon to occur. You have to be in the right place at just the right time. Especially when Jessica is bending over in her bikini. And with Chrissy Teigen co-vacationing in her undersized bikini. Wow. This is so much better than National Geographic, and, truly, imho, far more important. We’ve been struck with great fortune! Enjoy.
Photo Credit: FameFlynet
I’m not sure why Chrissy Teigen
is topless during this photoshoot with her husband in Miami. I’m going to guess it has something to do with somebody who’s far more polite than me asking her to take her top off for the cameras. Lord knows I asked so many times to little available. The sextastic Eurasian model has been teasing with peeks here and there over the candid years, but now we get a full frontside view of Chrissy Teigen topless that many of us have been waiting for years. In a way, I feel like I’ve been waiting forever.
Miracles are those little things that happen when you least expect them and sometimes barely even notice them. But big funbag miracles never go unnoticed. Not by the watchful eye of Egotastic! Shame on those media outlets that censored these best pictures ever. Think about your journalistic mission as you lay in bed tonight wondering where this all went wrong. Enjoy.
Photo Credit: INF
Okay, so maybe Chloe Moretz doesn’t look super thrilled to be in a bikini on social media. I’m still super thrilled to see her in a bikini. Isn’t that truly what’s important? I know the answer.
Joining Chloe in this week’s Sextastic Twitpic Roundup, the inimitably hot and showy Kate Upton teasing the hell out of the world, Cubana sensation Mayra Veronica all kinds of Grammy hot, Chrissy Teigen barely covered her bazoongas, Kylie Jenner bcleavy low cut tank top, Chelsea Pereira hot booty in a thong, and many many more. You owe it to the girl who is going to be evaluating your Valentine’s worthiness this weekend to check out each and every one of these red hot social media shares. They posted them, they really want you to see. Enjoy.
Photo Credit: Instagram
Once more, despite technical obstacles, the blessed many of you have shared some of your most skin-filled blessed discoveries with the rest of us worthies and not worthies alike. The cultural communal understanding formally trademark in 1917 as Reader Finds. Occasionally controversial, always filled with celebrity skin of the must-see variety. Think of it as your best source for pure repentant visual joy.
This week’s Reader Finds includes Naomi Watts hot blonde pole dancing (thanks to EgoReader ‘Marco’ for his submission’), the boobtastic Sammy Braddy in some killer reveals in Zoo magazine (kudos to ‘Tony S.’), Penelope Cruz decidedly topless and skinematic (I do so amor Penelope, thanks ‘Aaron’), Nina Moric topless funbag inspection on Italian telly (dropped off by ‘Stephen T.’), Natasha Alam in her memorable vampiric topless scenes (luscious Alam lovelies via ‘Darren’), Melanie Thierry in French exhibitionism of the ta-ta variety (mon dieu! by way of ‘Alexander’), Maud Le Fort topless modeling goodness (love my new French model girlfriend, thanks ‘Renee’), Mary Louise Parker full frontal and rear-al beauty (veteran hottie sextacular delivered by ‘Thomas’), Maria Kooistra topless fun times on the silver screen (oh, foreign girls with their clothes off via ‘Delaney’), ginger treat Leanna Decker topless gorgeous model shots (much shoutouts to ‘Geoff’), Hailee Steinfeld growing up nicely pictorial (an unexpected treat from ‘Trey W.’), the smoking hot Latina Elba Jimenez topless in Playboy Mexico (holy guacamole goodness from ‘Owen’), more Latina blessed sights from topless Diana Gomez (just faptastical bits of heaven via ‘Lee’), and last but not least, Chrissy Teigen with a sudsy boobtastic slip in her new GQ photoshoot. It’s a lot, but I suppose never enough. There’s always room for Jell-O. Enjoy.