Boring Cory Monteith Still Boring Even With Drugs

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bill-swift - April 2, 2013

Cory Monteith checked into rehab over the weekend. Who the hell is Cory Monteith, you may be asking? He's the main doofus on Glee, the one who dates the annoying scrunchy faced main girl, (on and off screen). This is the second time that the doughy heartthrob has gone into rehab. Apparently he was also a teenage alkie and drug addict. Why should we give a crap about a guy on the single most ball shrinking show of all time? Because it strikes me as strange that he can be both a junkie and soooo painfully boring. Look at Hollywood's other druggies, people like Linday Lohan and Courtney Love. Now those are some splendid drug addicts. Amanda Bynes crashing into people, that's entertainment!

But this guy is about as interesting as a doggie bag full of poop. No, I take it back. He's less interesting than a doggie bag full of poop because at least that has the decency to smell bad. Cory probably just smells like Axe Body Spray and mediocrity.

What I'm saying is that it's sad that doing drugs didn't make this homunculus troglodyte any more interesting. I bet it will be hard for him to stay in the closet without drugs. Eh, he's too boring to be gay.

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