Belated Happy Birthday To Jessica Alba, Prancing About Beverly Hills

Oh, Jessica, like we would ever forget your birthday. I made you a special cake, but it's very fragile, and it's in my bedroom. Come on, follow me, let's see you blow out the candles.

Okay, so Jessica Alba has been bringing out the inner pervert in us for more years than I care to remember (though I remember every single one of them like it was yesterday) and now the uber-sextastic kitten is turned 31, not a girl, not yet a woman nekkid in my arms. The MILFtastic sensation spent her special day being pampered in Beverly Hills and strutting about in a see-through skirt. Okay, so not the see-through to the goodness kind, but enough of a tease to remind us why she's owned the Boardwalk and Park Place of our libido for the past decade plus.

Jessica's not getting older, she's merely getting more used to my dirty letters in the mail. Enjoy.