Hug Me Suit Of Crushing Death

As Ned Stark would say, "Winter is coming". Except it really is. Before you know it, it will be ball shrinking cold. Many people start to get depressed during the winter months. It's called seasonal affective disorder. It's a fact that most suicides occur in the wintertime. A Chinese designer named Si Chan thinks he's come up with a s solution: The hug me coat. It's exactly what it sounds like. It's a thickly padded parka with concentric arms that wrap around your body and clasp in the front. It's supposed to be comforting...but...I find it horrifying. It's like an alien straight jacket. This pink one to the right has a hand on that dude's friggin' nutsack! I don't want my clothes sexually assaulting me. I would feel as if the multi-armed grip of Cthulhu himself is slowly squeezing my innards out of my head like a tube of toothpaste. Oh, and it costs $800. Fashion fail.