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The Goatman Commeth

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bill-swift - December 3, 2015

Every region of the country has its own unique local monsters. In the Pacific Northwest it's Bigfoot, in New Jersey it's the Jersey Devil, and in New York it's Guy Fieri. In Maryland, as well as some other spots around the country, it is Goatman. He is thought to be an Island of Dr. Moreau type experiment in breeding human/goat hybrids gone amok. Now the Goatman runs around secluded areas terrorizing locals and making them drop their crab cake sandwiches. Lately there has been an upsurge in sightings of Goatman and breathless eye witness reports online of people who swear they have come face to face with the cloven-hoofed beast. These are largely on Reddit so take it with about a pound and a half of salt.

When I was younger I would have dismissed these claims as either a hoax or a hallucination. But as I've grown older I've come to realize that there are many mysterious things in our world like how the pyramids were built or the continuing fame of Justin Bieber. So, if that little ass-faced troll doll can be an international pop star why can't there be a Goatman?

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