9 Reasons Why You Should Care If Paris Hilton Got New Bigger Boobs

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bill-swift - November 2, 2012

Now, it might just be that Billionaire Barbie got into a new line of push-up bras, but something has definitely been happening growth wise in her exposed chestal region. Now, you may say, I could care less if Paris Hilton got new bigger boobs, but here's 9 Reasons why you should care.

9. STDs can not be contracted from girls with big hooters (documented scientific fact)

8. Your copy of '1 Night in Paris' suddenly becomes retro-collective in value

7. Girls with big boobs always offered rides; countless lives saved from Paris being off the streets

6. Anything to do with tits is more interesting than hearing about politics

5. More movie roles for Paris! The Hottie and The Nottie Part 2 anyone?

4. Distracts attention from the lazy eye boner killer

3. French fucking now becomes an option on Paris' professional services menu

2. More press about Paris equals certain chance Kim Kardashian releases another sex tape

1. Now there's really no reason for Paris to ever speak to get attention

Good work, Billionaire Barbie!