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Why Are Performers At Benefit Concerts Always So Old?

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bill-swift - December 14, 2012

Last night was the 12 12 12 Concert for Sandy Relief in New York City. All the money raised went to help people affected by that horrible storm. While it's certainly a great cause and it was a great show did you notice how...um...old everyone was? The Who, The Rolling Stones, Paul McCartney, Billy Joel, and Bruce Springsteen are all awesome but they have all been eligible for social security for a loooong time. Seriously, Mick Jagger is 70! He should be haggling over a 39 cent coupon with a cashier at Walgreens instead of performing. Even the "younger" acts like Kanye West, Dave Grohl, Chris Martin, and Alisha Keyes have been around since the 90's. Perhaps it's that they were the only ones that volunteered to participate because they come from a more altruistic generation than the selfish A-holes of the Millennials. If that's the case then what's going to happen when all of these guys die? It is bound to happen inevitably. Who will do the benefit concerts for the natural disasters in 20 years? Beiber? Taylor Swift? The Gangnam style guy? Or will we simply have to preserve the Stones in defiance of God and nature for another 50 years using magic and drugs?

Also, why was Kanye wearing a skirt? He looked like the dowdiest dominatrix at the Scottish Tranny ball.

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