bill-swift - December 30, 2015
Ten years ago we all started on a journey, a story that captivated the nation and has become part of our national myth. I'm talking, of course, of R. Kelly's hip-hopera Trapped In The Closet. It tells the tale of a series of events that lead to Kelly ending up hiding in the closet. The whole story culminates in a showdown between a bunch of people who are all sleeping together. Then a little person poops their pants. There are 33 chapters but, according to Kelly, there are 40 more on the way. They have been recorded and only need to be filmed. This may turn into an epic that will be remembered in the same way as the Illiad or Gilgamesh. I think that this will be the defining event of the early 21st century.
I wonder what shenanigans R. Kelly will get up to now? Maybe someone will turn into a werewolf? Perhaps R. Kelly will end up in space? Maybe he'll have sex with a couch and will then shoot the couch? We'll have to wait and see.
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