Vatican Very Concerned Over Batman’s Soul

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bill-swift - March 23, 2013

The Vatican and Pope Frankie 1 are very concerned about the state of Batman's mental and spiritual health. At least, that's what the Roman Catholic Church's Catholic News Service and their Twitter account seemed to suggest. A Tweet from the News Service's account read, "Holy Switcheroo! Batman has grown bitter, more vengeful with the years" and a discussion of the evolution of Batman into a darker place were the lead stories on the site. Many thought the site had been hacked but it turns out that a "non-native speaker" posted the story to the site which the most powerful Christian organization on Earth kind of let slip by. A likely story. I think it is probably that the new pope is genuinely concerned for Bruce Wayne's spiritual health.

This new pope seems to be more inclusive in his ministry, (not to everyone, let's not be crazy). But he does seem to strive to help the poor and others largely neglected by his predecessor pope Palpati...Benedict. Why shouldn't that extend to a lost sheep like Bruce Wayne? Tormented by the death of his parents and others in his life, is it any wonder that the caped crusader would grow embittered? If pope Francis really wants to capture that sought after Millennial, Gen-X, and obese nerd demographic he would do well to heal Batman's soul with some good 'ol fashioned popery. They could discuss proper cape maintenance and how cool their cars are. It could lead to a meaningful dialogue and perhaps a new vocation for Batman. I would gladly return to the Church if Francis were succeeded by pope Batman I.

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