bill-swift - October 20, 2012
Toronto Batman. The words just don't sound right together. Much like matter and anti-matter, the coolness of Batman and the...um...not coolness of Toronto cancel each other out. In reality, Toronto Batman is a comedian named Alex Brovedani that wanders around the streets of not-New York eating beef jerky and fighting Spiderman. Let's forget for a second that Spiderman is a Marvel character and Batman is a DC character and that they don't even exist in the same universe making a battle between them impossible. At first the thought of a Canadian Batman filled me with so much rage that I wanted to go to the Bronx zoo and punch a moose. But then I thought, "Let 'em have it." I mean, poor Canada doesn't have much to look up to. They are not England, not Canada, and not the U.S. Their only heroes are hockey players and Celine Dion. So, we'll let you keep your Toronto Batman as long as you keep that sweet maple syrup flowing. My American Rooty Tooty Fresh and Fruity breakfast isn't going to drown itself in liquid tree sugar, eh.