The Case Of The Ninja Masturbator

Back in medieval Japan the ninja was the most feared person in a country full of some pretty fearsome people. He would creep into your house at night and kill you without making a sound. As a child of the 80's, I grew up during the golden age of ninja movies. I think I dressed as a ninja four Halloweens in a row. So, whenever I hear of a ninja using their powers of stealth for something weird and gross, it makes me sad. I don't want my heroes being creepers. But that's exactly what one in ninja in Seattle is doing. A man dressed in head to toe black ninja gear is showing up in front of a suburban house and whacking it at the front door. The family and police set up a camera to catch him in the act. Normally, he probably would have used a smoke bomb or ninja magic to conceal his appearance but I guess he had his hands full.

Cops are trying to find this guy but have had no luck. They have yet to find his secret ninja lair or the hidden temple behind the waterfall. But I guess, at the end of the day, ninjas have needs too. I just don't see why he doesn't go pick up some girls instead of masturbating to a front door. I guess we all have our proclivities.