Jessica Alba

Jessica Alba Flashes Cleavage in the Park

Jessica Alba was looking delectable in a white t-shirt with a plunging neckline while on a trip to the park. This meant that whenever she would bend over she gave the world a nice view of her truly spectacular cleavage. I’ve been a big fan of Jess’ ta-tas for years. I remember how great they looked in a skintight suit in that not so great Fantastic Four movie. They are just the right size, not too small to handle but not the kind of massive melons that might give a man carpal tunnel syndrome if they try and feel them up. Plus, I like her smile. She’s got some seriously shiny teeth. I’d give her something to smile about for about three minutes. Dude, she’s hot what do you want from me?

Jessica should bend over more often. I guarantee that her already successful career would be even better if she was constantly flashing cleav.

Photo Credit: FameFlynet

Asstastic Humps For a Humpday Huzzah!

My loveliest minion Whitney and I got into a fight over whether lady humps was meant to describe the glorious funbags of fine ladies or their equally alluring keesters. To further her positions, she put together a dozen pictures of super fine celebrity asstastic including Jessica Alba, Kim Kardashian, and Nikki Mudarris. I guess she wins in terms of preponderance of the evidence of a sextastic nature.

Whether humps refers to tops or bottoms, make no mistake, lady curves are the finest shapes ever produced by the prodigious and benevolent hand of Mother Nature. There’s no other design in the natural world that matches the sense of awe in seeing remarkably alluring women with primordially passion inducing curves. Bless them, one and all. Huzzah!

Photo Credit: Archives

Jessica Alba Bikini Pictures Working Out, Working to Booty Perfection, I’m So Happy!

Every now and then I get this pain in my nethers and realize I haven’t seen uber-MILFtastic Jessica Alba in a bikini lately. Where are my well placed photo spies tracking her on vacation? But, no, coming up dry. Then, of all things, the ripe super hottie goes and posts crazy asstastic photos of her own hot bikini self, with the workout photos in stretch pants to show the effort. Is this heaven? It’s got to be a decent approximation.

My mind often goes numb for several minutes in the face of extreme visual intoxication. Ogling Jessica Alba in a little butt cheek baring bikini bottom qualifies as outright inebriation of the senses I do believe. I know I can’t drive. I might be able to make it to a private space and cry. Blessed days, my friends. Blessed days. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: Instagram

Check out the best of Jessica Alba skin on TV and film at Mr. Skin.

READER FINDS: Denise Richard Wicked Hot, Penelope Cruz Wicked Topless, Raffaella Modugno Wicked Nekkid, And Much Much More…

 

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And, we are back. We took a little reader mailbag break over the holidays due to the timing of the festivities, not to mention my new Guinness Book of World Records, um, record for spiked eggnog consumption. I wouldn’t recommend the challenge for the feint of heart or those who share lavatory facilities with other unfortunate souls in their abode. At some point, it becomes an entirely private matter. Nevertheless, the velveteen mail bag remained closed until this moment each week when we unveil several of our faithful viewers most poignant prurient contributions. A litte big of skin filled tricks we like to call, Reader Finds.

This week’s Reader Finds includes Danielle Panabaker hot bosom (thank you to EgoReader ‘Kid’), model Alana Marie flashing her teats for Treats (kudos to ‘Eric C.’), Anais Pouliot and her French model friends topless (provided lovingly by ‘Devon’), Denise Richards in her iconic Andrew MacPherson tank top shoot (ever so so hot via ‘Denis’), Diane Franklin topless in the vastly underrated Last American Virgin (80′s throwback via ‘Ellen’), Russian born hottie blonde topless babe Elis Len (thank you kindly to ‘David M.), the gorgeous Emma Glover giving a New Year’s ta-ta’ salute (oh, me so happy thanks to ‘Evan’), Gina Carano outrageously sweaty hot for GQ (lust lust lust made possible by ‘Adrian’), Jessica Alba in her busty Campari calendar poses (Alba anytime delivered by ‘David D.’), sextasitc model Joyce Verheyen topless and luscious (much ado about funbags from ‘Carlos’), Julie Delpy topless in her French American skinema (lovely melons dropped off by ‘Aaron F.’), the hot bodied Lake Bell topless in her most classic scene (tons o’ ta-ta’s submitted by ‘Jerry’), Leighton Meester lovely as always (ingenue allure via ‘Cameron’), Maggie Gyllenhaal topless in her cinematic tubular turn (floppy happies from the mind of ‘Stephen D.’), Patricia Arquette topless and flaunting (sweaty puppy previews by ‘Stan’), Penelope Cruz and her epic pair exposed (muy caliente, gracias para ‘Todd R.’), Italian Miami bikini hottie Raffaella Modugno posing nekkid (dual kudos out to ‘Marsheat’ and ‘Anzio’), Susan Sarandon topless celluloid throwback (Susie Q’s tossed into the mix by ‘Letty’), Tiah Eckhardt topless Nordic naturals in S Magazine (this is a heavenly visual treat from ‘Erika’), and Abbie Cornish topless on the silver screen (lovely bath lovelies donated by ‘Holt’). It’s a New Year’s Reader Find mouthful, with two feet and a tether ball rope required. Take it in, scratch, sniff, enjoy.

Check Out All the Uncensored Reader Finds »

Jessica Alba Green Screen Asstastic Stripper Dance for Sin City 2 Production


There’s something truly magical about these production shots of Jessica Alba crawling along the fake stripper catwalk set agains the green screen for Sin City 2. Obviously, the film itself represent a hyper-stylized animated graphics hybrid peek on Jessica and other lovely ladies in the movie, but this behind the scenes look at Jessica with her butt in the air in garters and stockings. Um, I think I just erected my own sin city if you know what I’m saying.

Jessica Alba is definitely firmly ensconced in good girl Brentwood mommy camp at this point. Her risque visual days are for the most part behind her most unfortunately. But this single moment in time, this memorable bit of skinematics, well, the ladies might try to bury the sextastic for the sanctity of MILFhood, but I can tell you from experience, it’s like trying to hide the One Ring from Sauron. Good luck. The Egotastic eye sees all. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: Sin City 2

Jessica Alba, Kate Hudson, Ashley Benson Among the Hotties Showing Off for Baby2Baby Gala

I don’t have time to look, well, the energy, but I’ll assume Baby2Baby is some awesome cause perhaps serving babies everywhere. Maybe like some milk delivery service. Something worthy of bringing out the super hotties in Hollywood to support. And boy did the lovely ladies of Tinsel Town come out in cleavy droves to this event looking incredibly.

Try on for size Jessica Alba, Ashley Benson, Kate Hudson, Jordana Brewster, and Molly Sims for a little sextastic aperitif. All of these ladies looking more than stellar, all well worthy of carrying my child at some point in the future, maybe even starting today, ladies? Oh, the decked out hotties all fecund and ready to help me amass my small army of Egotastic offspring. My heart swells with pride. Let’s just say it’s my heart for now. Hot moms really are heaven on earth. Enjoy.

Jessica Alba, Jennifer Lopez, and Elisabetta Canalis Highlight the Mommy Hotties at the Pumpkin Patch

Every year the sweet looking moms head to the Mr. Bones Pumpkin Patch in West Hollywood to get some pumpkins for the little ones in front of as many cameras as possible. Uber-MILFtastic Jessica Alba even took her kids two days in a row, because you know, eleven hours grabbing a pumpkin when you’re in kindergarten simply isn’t enough. I could hardly complain about this obvious publicity gesture for every mid-October it brings out the sextastic motherly types such as Jessica, Jennifer Lopez, Elisabetta Canalis, Jaime King, and Fergie to traipse around in what they believe to be chick but functional mom wear and smile for the cameras. I kind of dig this annual tradition.

As you may know, I was touched inappropriately in a pumpkin patch as a child. It was by large bird of some kind that fought me over my choice of pumpkins as a small child. That evil flying bastard won that round, but I vowed to eat lots of winged creatures for dinner ever since that day. I like to think I got my revenge. Now, I’m able to return to the pumpkin patch without so much traumatic recollections. Albeit, a single man roaming around the pumpkin patch is pretty bad for your reputation. I try to make it work by dressing like a scarecrow. Enjoy.