Sucks to be Wii U, But At Least Nintendo Are Still Dominating the World of Frozen Yogurt

  Mario is more than just a video game character. He’s a pop culture icon, right up there with the most recognizable mascots on the planet. Sure, the fat little heroic bastard has dominated the games world itself, with starring roles and cameo appearances in a couple hundred different titles, but he’s done so much more than that.  

Just think of the merchandise. I don’t think there’s anything left that the mustachioed maestro hasn’t pimped out. Like Nintendo’s other hottest property, Pokemon, his face has been plastered on everything from sneakers to spaghetti-os to commercial jets.  There’s probably a line of Mario condoms out there. I’m sure of it, in fact, and if they don’t have the slogan Let’s a-go! But only if you’ve got one of these bad boys on your wang. I don’t want genital warts. Who always practices safe sex? It’s-a me, that’s who, I’ll be very disappointed.

But anywho, yes. Here he is expanding into another new market. Nintendo-themed frozen yogurt flavors? Why the hell not.

The company have partnered with Yogurtland, Game Spot reports, to bring the world what the damn world needed most: Flavors like Mario’s Chocolate Gelato and Luigi’s White Chocolate Pistachio.  There are ten in total, all available for a limited time until the promo ends on September 8. They’re being released periodically, presumably so the goddamn-shit-your-pants excitement of getting your hands on Bowser’s Dragon Berry Tart or Yoshi’s Honeydew doesn’t overwhelm us all at once.

If you weren’t already losing bowel control, did I mention that you can also get yourself spoons based on the characters? Because you can, my friends. The future is now, the future is yogurty.

Hit the link for the full skinny on the promotion.