READER REQUEST: The Very Sexiest of Ball Girl And FIFA Ambassador Victoria Lopyreva

If Victoria Lopreyva really wants to make a difference in the world, instead of holding up soccer balls next to her chest she should be holding up sign that says “Save the Orphans” or some shit. Maybe even a link to some crowdfunding page where people can donate to children with harelips in third world countries, or states. For every milestone reached in funding, Victoria could release a photo of her with one less layer of clothing.

Man, that was a hell of a good idea. I think my talents are being wasted here. I need to get into the non-profit sector and show those jabronies how it is done. I could have all of the world’s ailments knocked out by the end of the year. And even if I didn’t then I would still have done a great service to the world by releasing even more photos of topless women to the internet.

I do not know the responsibilities of a Ball Girl, but given her uniform I do not think they are too demanding. It is not like the bat boys in the MLB who have to wear helmets. Those kids are risking life and limb in order to fulfill a job that can be carried out by a dog.

Photo Credit: MEGA / Instagram