Sam Robeson - July 10, 2017
Aged singer Pink hooks up her baby Jameson to her milk bags in an Instagram photo posted this weekend. The caption reads "Jameson can multitask too." The six-month-old holds a makeup brush as mom gets groomed by stylists ready for a challenge. Feminizing a WNBA player would take less work. Hot tip: Coat a Jason mask with bronzer and call it a day.
This past Friday we checked out Tasha Maile - a woman who multitasked by breastfeeding and getting fucked by her husband at the same time. Pink will have to get tag teamed by a Shriners Club bowling league to compete with that shock factor. Chelsea Handler can provide there when and where. But Pink's idea of multitasking is still getting plenty of attention from media sources parched for Instagram tit milk. The thirty-seven-year-old has realized that the easiest way to be a hero to all mankind is to perform a human function and then pretend that the entire world is against it. Without h8ers to slam, Pink will have to focus on the fact that she doesn't have a career.
Pink and Chrissy Teigen and other terrible people throw red meat on Instagram praying for the vultures to come. One "ew, u a slut ho" comment from a shut-in hailing from Waco, Texas has the power to keep a celebrity afloat. Breastfeeding selfies - or brelfies for those wishing to obliterate language - have become more of a defiant act than Kathy Griffin grasping Donald Trump's severed head by his weave. At least she was lucky enough to get death threats. Next time you're feeling charitable, head to Pink's Instagram and shame her for breastfeeding. Tell her she's doing God's work if you feel like being a troll. Tell her no one gives a fuck if you feel like sending her into an existential crisis.
Photo Credit: Instagram
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