bill-swift - January 20, 2006
It's no secret that I have the least amount of respect possible for Paris Hilton. If I could only use one word to describe her, I think I would choose "useless."
Paris, who is currently being sued for $10 Million by someone else who is completely useless, Zeta Graff (I don't even know who she is, but I'm sure she's useless), has been giving depositions recently, and Page Six has some of her testimony for you to laugh at. (You can also download part 1 and part 2 of the full deposition transcripts in PDF form.)
* Paris on the challenge of friendship: "I meet so many people. I don't even know some of my friends' names."
* On women who stalk women: "I would never say stalking. I'm not a dude. Like, I think a girl can only stalk a guy. She can't really stalk another girl."
* On travel: "I was in Europe for the whole summer, and all there is is, like, French - I didn't see anything because I wasn't in America."
* On the nature of e-mail: "Whatever I write in e-mail, it doesn't mean anything. It is just words I write."
* On spelling Israeli-born music/movie producer Guy Oseary's name: "O with an apostrophe S-e-a-r-y."
[Her Lawyer]: "Do you know how to spell his first name?"
Paris: "Just G-u-i, Gui . . . I've known him for a while."
* On Graff: "[I told her] she is old and should stay at home with her child instead of being at nightclubs with young people. And just that - I just . . . What else did I say? Just that she is not cute at all."
* On PAGE SIX [and once again, bending the truth]: "I don't know them, but, like, if I see them at a party, they will come up to me, but I don't talk to them."
Lawyer: "So you would not consider anybody at PAGE SIX a friend?"
Paris: "No, definitely not. I hate PAGE SIX."
Meanhwile, Paris' publicists are trying, and not succeeding to cover up a story in which a Hawaiian cab driver accused Hilton of peeing in his taxi. The driver says that Hilton was so drunk (no surprise there) that she wasn't eve aware of having peed in the car, reports FemaleFirst.
So, yes. Paris Hilton really is that dumb.