READER FINDS: Elizabeth Hurley Topless, Paz de la Huerta Nekkid, Kate Upton Boobtastic, and Much Much More…

 

Oh, glorious last Friday before Black Friday when middle aged people will trample old people buying gifts for young people in perhaps the most perverted Circle of Life demonstration ever. I shall miss those of you who don't make it ever so dearly. But, time marches on, heals all wounds, and names lame people to their Person of the Year edition. Thus, on this Friday, we turn out attention and optical lenses toward the velveteen pouch that contains this week's content of reader submitted skin, flesh, and funbags. A little invention that since 1911 we've been calling, Reader Finds.

This week's Reader Finds includes Kate Upton in her first big bikini shoot (oh, my my's thanks to EgoReader 'Brett'), Madonna topless in some of her stellar screen work (dramatic, no, topless, yes, via 'Owen'), Chloe Sevigny nekkid in Purple (full Chloes courtesy of 'Stag'), Jane March topless thespianic (lovely lovelies by way of 'Marco'), Elizabeth Hurley topless in her beginning days (big hair and funtops sent by 'Steven'), Edie Falco topless and revelatory (Falco peaches presented by 'Damon'), India Reynolds topless in Zoo (India glorious views promoted by 'Stacey'), wicked hot Morena Baccarin baring teats in Homeland (how I lust Morena, 'Evan G.' knows that), Abbie Cornish topless and fruitful (British besties tosses into the mix by 'Merv'), Paz de la Huerta nekkid fun times (pleasantly prurient views by 'David R.'), Evangeline Lily bra and panties screencaps (lost was I ere I saw Lily, from 'Bruce'), Kate Beckinsale topless and inspiring (pre-MILF Kate still so beautiful, via 'Ryan'), Swedish TV lovely Emma Zetterberg topless in Cafe magazine (tussen takk shout out to 'Lusen'), Lucy Lui nip slip from Elementary (caught by so many of you I can't count, thanks to all!), the blessedly hot Marion Cotillard just simply stunning (many obliges go out to 'Jean-Yves'), Sophie Howard stunning topless selfies (I could sleep in those pillows, just outstanding 'Regan'), Emma Frain topless with a topless buddy (buddy system perfected by 'Jonathan'), and last but not least, Euro-lovely Valerie Kaprrinsky quite nekkid in a beautiful work of cinematic art (kudos to 'Poppy' for the throwback visual delights). I'm not going to sugar coat this. It's a lot of nekkid celebrity flesh. If you can't handle it, I'll still respect you. Or not. Enjoy.

Alessandra Ambrosio, Jackie Guerrido, Rocsi Diaz And Others En Fuego At The Latin Grammies

I don't mind telling you that I love the Latin Grammies. Not so much for all of the Spanish-speaking music world patting itself on the back but because it brings out all the hottest Latinas. As a Latino myself it is great to have a chance to ogle a wide variety of my people for a change. Perennial hottie Alessandra Ambrosio was on hand looking as boobtacular as ever. She was wearing an outfit with a plunging neckline so deep that it almost reached her hoo-haa. Oh, Lord was there cleav. Jackie Guerrido was there as well looking her usual sexy self. That woman has got some legs that are muy caliente, mi amigos. I wouldn't mind one bit if those puppies were lying next to me on a cold night. Rosci Diaz had a dress on that was low cut so you could see her chi chis and high at the bottom so you could gander at her magnificent legs. Ay ya yay!

All in all it was a magical night. There were hotties too numerous to mention. It's like los Reyes Magos came early this year to bring the gift of boobs.

Bella Thorne And Jennifer Aniston Are White Hot Hotties at Horrible Bosses 2 Premiere

Sexy duo Jennifer Aniston and Bella Thorne were looking particularly boobtastic at the premiere of Horrible Bosses 2. Bella wore a pant suit thing with a super plunging neckline and, whoops, she forgot to wear a bra. The result is some cleav for the ages, my friends. Bella has some nice pert and perkies that I very much enjoy looking at. The rear was also missing from the top so you could marvel at her perfect back, (an underrated part of the female anatomy). Jennifer was also cleavtacular in her low cut dress. I've been a big fan of Jennifer Aniston's knockers ever since the early 90's when she was on Friends. Let's face it, those hooters and that famous hair cut launched her career. She's also friggin' sexy as hell in the last Horrible Bosses movie.

Not that I condone that type of sexual harassment behavior. But if I were Charlie Day I totally would have drilled that dentist.

Rose McGowan Full Frontal Naked Veteran Hotness in Flaunt Magazine

 

If you got it, flaunt it. Rose McGowan has got it. This Forty and Faptastic club member gets an occasional jeer for some unfortunate 90210 modifications in the past, but I'll state unequivocally that Rose McGowan is one beautiful looking lady. Granted, I don't know what unequivocally means. And, yes, I may be slightly prejudiced since Rose has one super stellar female form completely revealed, head to fun parts, in this Flaunt Magazine pictorial.

How many Tinsel Town actresses do you know who will bare their lady nest full and frontal with blessedly uncovered teats in such a classic manner? The list is truly very short. The opposite of my feelings for Rose. Whatever you're doing, my lovely, keep on doing it. You are a blessing to gentleman oglers and Sapphic leaning women everywhere. Bravo. And, yes, do call me. Enjoy.

Reese Witherspoon Heavenly White Hot Owning the Wild Red Carpet

Okay, we saw Kimberly Cole on this same red carpet for the movie Wild earlier, but let's be honest, Reese Witherspoon is the star of this movie and the girl I dream about nekkid fishing with nightly. She absolutely owned the paparazzi at her own star turning film premiere, as she should, and she did. Reese gets ridiculed at times for her occasionally drunkenly silly outbursts at the po-po, as if the rest of us are somehow immune to acting stupid while under the influence of too many beverages. Reese is by all accounts, just one fine minxy bosomy MILF making her way in the rough streets of Brentwood.

And when Reese gets all decked out for galas and red carpet, man, look out. She is a true knockout. I believe they call this movie star beauty. I just call it, oh, please, may I have a small taste, just a sliver. It's never polite to insist on a big piece of pie. My grandma taught me that. She was a crude lady. Enjoy.

India Reynolds Topless Showdown With Sisterly Brunette Holly Peers

 

There's really no reason to take two perfectly friendly glamorous girls with ridiculously hot bodies and force them into brutally honest chestal competition. Okay one reason. It's really fun. The notion that you could have one of these set tremendous peaches perched over your drooling maw, let alone two battling it out for the right to perch. Wow, that's like doubling down on the dream. I admire the ambition.

This week's Battle of the Boobtastic features two of my all-time favorite all-stars, India Reynolds and her cheeky sweetness taking on Holly Peers, a woman for whom I'd root for the Raiders if she told me it made her hot. That's a big give. She's a big hot girl. For your part, it is the role to decide the winner, and, ergo, the not winner. In your opinion, between these two super fine vixens, whose ta-ta's reign supreme?

Battle of the Boobtastic: India Reynolds vs. Holly Peers

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Lucy Ford In See-Through Lingerie And Other Fine Things To Ogle

Lucy Ford in transparent underwear and covered topless? Yes, please! (Drunken Stepfather)

Kim Kardashian steals Kylie's bikini and looks equally as hot. (TMZ)

Former Playmate Tiffany Fallon can barely cover her funbags. (Hollywood Tuna)

When did Shailene Woodley turn into this leggy bombshell in GQ? (Popoholic)

Major Lady Gaga sideboob alert! (The Superficial)

Barbara Palvin is nekkid in Marie Claire Italy. (COED)

Do you want to see 23 year old Carrie Fisher's sideboob in that metal bikini? Of course you do! (Moviepilot)